Le NoBlE's heart.

Chemistry A'level P2

2010-11-16T16:47:00.002+08:00

Hell! The paper was "un-typical". I don't see any "trend" question anymore! So fucked up it was, and plus a few careless mistakes. I will say! Oh shit! So there goes my stronger subject. Honestly, i rather leave this feb for AUS. And by now, i would have been on my way to Uni which starts next year Feb? Argh!

Mama tried to encourage me. The way i like it: She looked at my palm, and said "Your study line is long, you'll achieve academic success!"

Yeah, all of us knew it. My dad a few weeks ago, told me," i've never seen you unmotivated in academics before. You are not a stupid child!" So it's not a matter of whether "can i?" anymore! It's more of "do i want it?"

But i guess it's too late to salvage. I've again wasted another year. I will not waste anymore of such. I kinda don't care what's the outcome of this anymore.

"Julius is not efficiently allocating his resources, thus causing a market failure. The people around him (society) values an additional unit of education consumed more than the marginal cost to consume an additional unit of it! Hence, causing a net welfare loss and divergence between the marginal societal benefit and marginal private benefit, incurring a marginal external cost; cost incurred to third parties, not involved in Julius' education. Due to this, the people around him will be better off if he focus and consume more education."

Midst of A' levels examination.

2010-11-13T22:41:00.002+08:00

Well, i waited for this A' Level exams for 3 years already. Last year, i will be bluffing my way through the paper. Maybe, i don't know. I got no confidence of myself at all last year. Well, the exams has not gone as smooth sailing as i would expect. Even though honestly, i feel the paper aren't hard at all. Really.

But i am prepared for a disappointment. Maybe not. I really really want a good enough grade to enter to a good enough University. But i guess, i just screwed some things up in one or two parts of the paper. Which i don't wish to talk about. Because once i leave the hall and reflect, i know how to do the questions! And i did it wrongly. The guilt, 3 years, wasted youth, and it's not at all happy route to take. Hey, i began to really regret, why hadn't i choose a Polytechnic instead? I would be far far better off. It's no use regretting. I just hope for the best.

Words of consolation: worst come to worse, i restart my life in a new place, where no one knows my past. No one will know i was a repeat student who still cannot do well, despite the extra years.

But still, i can't forgive myself if i do poorly. Never...

First match of the long waited A division.

2010-04-15T21:52:00.002+08:00

At last! I'm a player in the school team! I sound so pathetic, without a competition school jersey. Now i got one! Today is the first match for Pioneer. An easy pick. MJC, should have the weakest standings in the grouping.

Still we didn't start well. We were trailing in the first quarter, chased back in the second. Screwed the third quarter. Thank god, all the pieces connected in the last quarter which give us a comfortable margin. I bet Mrs Loh almost had a cardiac arrest.

Played like shit in the second quarter. When coach put me in for a while, then benched me. Crap!!! But surely, i was part of the reason that allowed us to pull the lead. I was contented with my "good help defense" today. Scored 0, rebounded 2, assist 1, denials and forced a turnover, a couple... :D

Next we will play JJC. We scouted their play, and sort of, strong. On paper, they will be a close fight, but they fared RI quite well, managed to lead for a quarter before being killed off. Stop thinking they are strong! Work, and do your part really well! It will turn out well.

Competition phase

2010-04-04T18:53:00.002+08:00

Defeating a couple of schools in friendlies don't mean anything. Sometimes planting hopes too high may be a flop. Last year, hopes are high, but what's the point? PJ team condition drooped nearing the competition. There seemed to be a lost in the goals.

This year, maybe it will be a record new number of J1s in the team. But it's different. I am certain i will be a part of the real fight. I made my role more clear now. What am i playing as. Not really that supportive, but again, i feel defense is still my edge. Offensive wise, i have calmed down a lot and i feel more confident.

Schedule is confirmed. MJC, DHS, JJC the RI. I speculate an escalating difficulty. Which may be good. If you beat the first 3, we'll be on a higher roll. Teamwork and communication is the areas where i want to see more improvements in. Also physical wise. Technically, i think we're adequately equipped. The pressure is on. Time to step up the pressure...

Chem-o-theraphy, Physic-o-logy, Econ-know-me and Mat-the-matrix.

2010-03-25T13:43:00.005+08:00

Okay, look like some "chimology" words, but they sound familiar. They are not a new subject that i will be learning, but do i need to tell you what they are? I guess not.

Yes, it's March, and i have just ended my Common Test. So last year i was quite "emo" with not getting to the team and so, i wasted much of the holidays. This time as there's no YOG, the A division match is back to it's original place.
FYI: Last year's competitions started march, which is supposed to be in the Aprils

This year i guess i will fare better. As you know i have worked a lot to strengthen my Organic Chemistry and has gained a bit of success here and there. So u won't be expecting a U for it. Physics, i should do well, cause the paper is rather similar to last year's. Economics, should be better cause i have a better grasp on my concept. Math, i didn't even try to pass the paper, so "U"!

Whatever is the outcome, i am determined to continue working harder. Leave Singapore at least with a cert! Not empty handed.

苦口良药

2010-03-11T18:58:00.000+08:00

How many times have you come across a mirror to your personality? Someone who knows you well, and without doubt whose words mean well to you? I have a couple of those friends, and by default, parents are one of them.

Dad went to HK this week, for some gem auction stuff, he haven't tell me about it. Yet his superstitious side showed up. Again he went to a fortune teller. Let's just talk about me. The fortune teller actually said I am smart (as usual) but a pity!(What is this?!) A pity I am too arrogant? Is that the correct word for 骄傲? It's an arrow through my heart.

True... I cannot deny that. Just this few days I notice myself being in the lime light for a couple of stuff. Firstly bball, showed an improvement in my performance in Malaysia and I am even more certain of my value to the team. Secondly, a couple of my results that have been pretty good which show I'm improving.

I come to realise that this nature of mine has been the one hindering me. Have you heard of "to be an effective learner, you have to start from scratch" means, to put away your knowledge so that you can earnestly learn, not assume that you know. This way I believe I can improve more. Put aside that ego of yours, cus it will lead you no where.

I used to think that I have an edge over the rest this year, because I am repeating. And because I am repeating, I now realise I have to work harder, to retain my advantage which apparently is fading off. I have to regroup. Be the softspoken guy, whom I wanted to be at the beginning if my JC life...

Post CNY

2010-02-24T20:50:00.002+08:00

Hey... CNY is over, and i feel myself being glutton. Lol! Kidding. Anyway, i am sick now. Was caught up with an infected throat. Then now, my nose runs like there's no tmr! Jeez... Got to recover as soon as i can...

Well, March holidays is next next next week. So it means that common test is a month a way. Oh my papa... Hahah... Still getting in my nerves. But i should be more prepared now. Hahha... I will do as well as i can.

Heard the opening match of A div will be 4th or 5th april. Crap... And i'm embarking on a sports trip to M'Sia KL next friday. Be back on Sunday. I guess the 12 will be disclosed then. No one knows who's in the 12. It all depends on the performance in malaysia i guess. Strong contenders around.

Still planning to buy new phone. But settled with blackberry at last. Think can live around with the battery that people say is weak, strange. There's a mixture of feedback. Nonetheless, if there is a good enough touch phone, i will re consider my choice. Think 4g is off my choice.

My cousins are away in Jakarta, could be enjoying, could be bored. I just miss my dad's car. That G class. Man, it's a good feeling driving that car, like you're commanding the road. :D

Anyway the :) is not an impostor. Hahaha... Still my baby tagging.

Soe's bday is round the corner. Bernette's too i think...

Festive season that i may not celebrate.

2010-02-13T01:11:00.002+08:00

Well, it's the midnight, before dawn of the day which reunion dinner is held. Last year's today, later in the day, there was a fireworks display at my house in Jakarta. Yes, it was good, where the whole family gathered. Warmth was what i felt. This Lunar New Year, i felt rather empty, cold, and not excited over it. I didn't get any new shoes, simply bought two bottoms, a Sanctus Jeans. Despite spending a bomb of over $600 on 6 tops? I still cannot get into the mood.

I have been feeling rather stressed lately. Ensuring my focus over studies, and how are the people around me doing. That may explain my short-tempered self this few weeks.

I dislike to see people getting out of hand, especially someone who i feel important. Whoever, they should know, i have been treating him coldly this few days, which i know i could have cared less. Somewhat i thought of my parent's expectations of me, which i feel can make me a big person. Real big!

The values that was instilled into our "cell system" should run in the blood. What we the younger generations feel as traditional. Nevertheless, they shape what i am today, and to some extent, we should follow them.

I look to my mum as an inspiration of wisdom; she said, "never misuse the trust that someone gives you"

I interpreted this sentence as giving me a room of freedom, but i still have to exercise self control and limitation. In which failure to do so, all the space that was granted will be crunched. Learn to live through the loopholes, and not directly break the rule. Parents do hate to be deceived, and nights like this should be spent together, with ones who are closest to you, and not in a place deemed as improper. I hope this post will sort of make you guys understand where I'm coming from. Brother's i do care for you guys man...

Start of February '10

2010-02-03T21:50:00.002+08:00

Hello, one month away from the last post. As expected, life is busy. With me getting down more serious with work and trainings. I feel the pressure but definitely it is not as hectic as before. I am more able to use time wisely compared to last year.

Well, my transportation fee is so high now. Cab cab, though i feel guilty, but i can't help it. It saves time and effort. I get a wink more sleep in the morning though. Yet i can't bear to call for cabs in the morning, cause they really cost a bomb. So let's try to limit each cab rides at 10 dollars. I seriously i think own a car is better for me. At least i won't be that tired, and it'll save a lot a lot a lot of time on the road. But again, what to do, the pact is to get one when i'm at university. I don't understand why mama don't like the idea of students in control of a car when i am legal, and capable enough... Emo, can only see the cars past by me daily, even drivers driving the cheapest car on my list is laughing at me. It's not that i can't afford, it's i can't get the permit! Crap.

This even drives me to thinking of buying one myself, paying installments. Think i will have some money to spare... for the month.

Today there is a bball trials, i think the quality of intake is generally higher a little than last year. We'll see how it will transfer the squad to be like. Pressure is really pumping. Crap...

Rainy new year!

2010-01-01T22:27:00.004+08:00

Yay, i'm back in Singapore. I did went back, and came back after Christmas! As you can see, i got my international license and am proudly a qualified driver! What is missing is the ease getting a car here. Back there i got three cars to choose from. My dad's G300, S600 and the one which i always use, a Toyota MPV Kijang otherwise known as Unser here and Malaysia. Miss the freedom to roam about. Haha... Not boasting, show you guys the photos a bit later.

I think i am going to have to give my dogs away. Painful decision. I love them dearly. Two male Golden Retrievers, cream and brown, about 3 years of age. Interested people, tag... This notice is for Jakarta only. If you are not, then scram! I am very unwilling to give out them, but with the current situation, i am helpless.

Away in Jakarta for 10 day, my baby here must have felt lonely. Didn't think she went out much, unlike me, out all day long... Bad... So i came back and did spend lots of time together. Before New year, 31st, went with baby to Holland V, had cold rock ice cream there. Well, both of us come with a conclusion, maybe i should get a car, it'll be so much more easy and cool. I am starting to like Holland. Haha... Next stop, Dempsey.

Anyway, i discovered Lots of rentals in Singapore has a minimum age to rent cars. Mostly above 21. So anyone willing to rent out their car? Or have any recommendation which can help me get a drive. Don't worry, i graduated from the streets of Indonesia, where i need to squeeze between packed traffics, deal with gangsterism driving, and i have clean records! So i am qualified! Cheers!

Today is I did not get to spend time with baby. Clique came over for the night last night, didn't really sleep, and i am very sleepy now. Let's see if i can spend some time with baby tmr. After tuition maybe. Argh, school is starting again. I am really sick of it. It so true... My mama isn't feeling well either, from last night i will say. So we stayed home!

Photos!

I am by the sea...

2009-12-22T21:43:00.002+08:00

How often can i wake up with the sea before my eyes? Once a year? Definitely less than a quarter of the year. It's a different type of feeling her and there. Here i focus a lot more on my family whereas in Singapore it's more complicated. I prefer the type of laid-back life here.

Anyway, when i got back, i realised i have become a crimminal guilty of animal neglect. The dogs that i once spoke proud of, once healthy and charming golden retrievers have succumbed to a state of beyond recognition. They are malnourished, dirty and unkempt!

To believe that they will be in safe hands, i am so naive... My cousins and uncles are not dependable anymore. I cannot describe anymore cause it will bring me to tears. I am someone who always boast how much do i love animals. But i have breached all the qualities of an animal lover. Keeping a pet when i am unable to tend to it. I am liable for their current state.

Since i got my license and stuff, i think they are the top on my agenda now...

Darn...

When was the last time i feel like a family in a team?

2009-11-28T21:36:00.003+08:00

After joining back the team for some time, i still feel a little out of the circle. Remembering the feeling i had in the past, where i feel a part. Be it PJ, and needless to say Kaixuan. It's the feeling that is absence in this batch. I don't feel really happy after all, or is this an unhappy team by nature?

After being the vice captain, regrettably i still do not understand how the team functions. Their mindset, goals, vision. Sometimes i ponder to myself, is my return actually useful, or just redundant? Are my particular set of skills and play really useful in the team?

I came to experience that type of intense feeling last training with Quest, a short part. When coach needed centers from PJ to do the transition drills. I haven't went back to KX trainings, since my dad was in town and i had to accompany him. I wonder have the play styles of the guys changed? Or is it I, who still loves in the past? Somewhat i feel lonely on the court now.

In my opinion, a successful team firstly need coherence. I mean, each individual players have their role which they should excel and expected to perform well in games. For example, scorers, playmakers, rebounders, stoppers etc... Till now, only a few of them have been defined, not enough to make a consistent play style in the team and of course trust in your team mate which boost communication.

Secondly, hunger. Which will help in commitment. If you are playing in a team that have no obvious goal to improve, there is really no point training. Cause without the motivation key, you just don't want to train harder and push the limits. I have yet to pant my lungs out so far, weird... Guilty... Tough training should help improve my stamina...

Lastly, making it simple, discipline. What's the point of putting programmes in place if you don't force yourself to it? You can walk the whole 6k, do drills for the sake of doing? It'll just tear away the commitment, and the meaining of coming down for trainings. Shooting 50 balls where you know you have to shoot a lot more to improve. In the end, our abilities will stay stagnant there.

All this three attributes are those that made a team happier. Achieving an obvious goal, feeling yourself improve! When you feel stronger, able to out-muscle your opponent, scoring fastbreaks one after another, or crashing in shots which left the opponent burnt. I felt it before, ever since, no more...

Of course, as one of the three leaders in the team, I have to show these, in order for others to follow. But bear in mind, it is still up to them whether to keep in line, or go AWOL. We really got a lot to do, much more... Substance is not quite there, so we have to make it up, by pure hard work. Make others awe, at the very least, our fighting spirit... Guys.. Let's work... Can we?

Holiday...

2009-11-22T23:48:00.002+08:00

Short! As always... Thanks to the two weeks shitty extra lesson which i don't find useful at all! I swear... School should think of something more constructive instead of filling our time table with long hours of GP workshop which felt draggy. Must be that new HOD's idea... Dumb move.

Am the vice cap of PJ bball team now. I hope i can do a good job. So far, i think i lack of communication with some of the guys, thus there is no affinity which may affect decision makings in games. Important to work on eh.

Work shadowing in YMCA, the one near plaza sing. 1st to 14th Dec. Try to ask me out after 6 if you all want. Haha... Wonder what it'll be like... Tailing a manager around, and i passed by that place. I realise a lot of them is in blazer and tie! Crap...

Yet to buy my prom clothes. But finalised my thoughts of what to wear. Will be very rush on 9th. End work at 6. Rush home, plan to reach bout 7? Lol!!! @ Orchard hotel.

Started gym-ing again. Seeing my muscles grow again. Very good! hahaha...

Kayz... I going off first. Sleep...
GG back for school tmr. For refreeing course. I wonder why do i have to go. Since i already gotten the certificate. Lol... Nvm. Gym tmr...

Boring breaks...

2009-11-06T22:48:00.002+08:00

Hi, how's life about Julius?

Boring, since my i got no PW where the rest of the J1s are busy about, i got nothing to do... Having break now till Wednesday, before going back to school to start J2 topics. Revision for me... :) Hope my holidays will be more interesting, with work shadowing, CIPs and maybe a trip to Aussie...

Heard you join back B ball, how do you feel about them?
Well, still learning the ropes. Got to really drill the basics for some. Can see some really put their heart in to get better, but to take it to higher level, the team need to put in really a lot more work. I miss the previous team, but my role here is totally different. Still not sure why am i back, but i am doing what i feel is right. Bring some experience to this team. Just lost the ACSIS previously known as ISIBL. Thrown at the face at the difference in standard of the team's performance, but kind of happy to see the team doing better at the end of the season.

What plans do you have for this holiday?
I plan to upgrade myself. Initially wanted to take driving courses. Which is unnecessary. I can easily get an A-I license in Jakarta, and i am already driving in Jakarta, so why go through the pain and money?
Take up music courses, basically piano. Can't convince myself. Imagine, an 18 year old taking grade 1? Err... I need a good teacher in the first place.
Take up French. Any school to attend? I really hope someone tell me where to attend the class?
Learn a new sport. Tennis or badminton. David can coach me badminton for free.

The end of my interview.

I would like to help my dear cousin to advertise himself. David Tjong, a young player. He also seem to be a good coach. So far he have successfully coach 4 kids who manage to enter the SBA kids squad from nothing. Anyone looking for badminton classes feel free to find me, i'll refer you to him. Yeap.

Post - promos

2009-10-15T22:55:00.003+08:00

Hello! Let me see, what date is today. It's the 15th October, tomorrow is the 16th, and 5 days ago was the 11th. Well, 11th marked the 17th month i am attatched to darling, and still counting on! Tomorrow, is a bit special, it's Mama's birthday! Haha... Well, thought of doing something special this time, like do some scrapping for her. It's been so long since i had done a handiwork for her. Maybe she will like it, and i am more free now.

Plan to take a course, either music or an extra language. Have yet to decide, but i need to decide soon, so as not to waste my holidays. Anyway, about driving, i decided to just wait the chance to go back Jakarta and get my A internationals done, it will be easier that way, more speed, no haste. Haha... So i heard i just needa convert my license by taking the basic theory? Don't really have a perfect picture yet.

I took part in this years Interhouse games which was last wednesday. It on tuesday. Man, it's been so long since i touched the basketball. Yes, i represents a new house, and am the most experienced among the group of players, i take it, i am the leader of the team of 7. It's a pity that my friend Wei Cheng injured himself the day before, otherwise it would have been a more enjoyable time.

Tried to exercise my strategist mind. Standing in a position of a coach, but i realise it's hard to get a team to listen to you. Needless to say accessing the flow of the game, and do tactical switches. For example which player is more suitable, what type of play, and set pieces to get the team out of danger. Well, overall i think it was a good experience, and i the team Nobel got a third placing, which is rather good i thought. This make me feel i still gotta learn a lot from basketball, and i do consider taking coaching courses which will benefit me, needless to say apply it when i'm in the game.

My physical strength have definitely weakened. Stamina dropped, strength missing, and all my touches and timings were rusty. I promised Mrs Loh to get back into shape within 1 months. I mean business, i really gotta to show the result this time. I am the senior yoz... The first welcome to the team, a match against New Town Sec. I don't know what will it be like, without the mates i used to rely on, I realised, i am one of the main pillars now... Hope to have a good game...

Re-sitting the same exam.

2009-10-03T22:43:00.002+08:00

While my friends was taking back their bloodbathed prelims paper, i was sitting in the exam hall, resitting for the examination i took a year ago. It was still about a month away to A Levels. You can really tell that my former classmates are on full steam. Rushing against time, brain trying to sponge all the stuff they need in the exam halls.

Meanwhile i was in a war of my own, fighting for the legibility for a seat in class next year. If i lose, i may be well on my way elsewhere. Feeling stressed, as moderation may not help much due to the 100% of my results will come from the papers i sit. Every mistakes i made will be more fatal as compared to the rest. I need to be extra sure than the rest, be extra careful.

I will put my best foot in the line, whatever happens next, at least i tried. But i do feel i am crossing that line already, to the safe harbour, and not be relegated into the wilderness...

Life can be more interesting...

2009-09-23T23:13:00.002+08:00

I need something to spice up my life! Argh, i'm so jealous with the people around me. My besties are getting jobs, and even my cousins are so. Whereas, i'm still a parasitic boy. Crap. No income, yet still spending! If i am a country's government i will have incurred millions of national debts i think.

The school do have some work shadowing programme with some affliated companies. Only for about a week? Worst of all, you don't really get paid, but it still beats being labeled "unemployed". Furthermore it's something to add to my testimonial which is quite nice already, and something to note about in my future resume. Thinking of how to spend this coming holiday wisely, on one condition, i get through this promos. Well, unlike other J1s, my promos will be a 100%. So whatever i get, it will be what my results are reflected onto the report card.

Lately, my tummy, the intestines area, on the right, about 4 fingers above my hips, hurts often. Yes, what does that mean? I suspect i am getting appendicitis. It's beet hurting a few days already, that explains why i am actually quite lazy to eat this few days. I don't feel goo after eating. I hope it doesn't go bad, if not off to the operating table i go. Crap... Never been so unlucky in my life before.

Last year i did a CIP at Paragon, Metro. Well, it's a joint effort by SIF, Metro and PJC to raise money for the unfortunate children in less developed countries. Usually this CIP project is out to the J1s, thus since i am once again a J1 student, i am able to join! I remembered the timing was quite bad, somewhere very near to Christmas! Yes to the eve!

That's not the matter. I can choose not to join, but i decided to join again anyway. Why? This time they are raising money for Indonesian students! Yes, precisely, if it wasn't for the word Indonesia i would have cared less. Donations are designated to a high school in Bandung, still a developing part of Indonesia, more known for a tourist attraction.

At last, someone actually highlight the importance of education in Indonesia. Let me try to apply some economic theory to it. Education is a merit good, and by nature, it is deemed as socially desirable, yet tends to be underconsumed or underproduced. People consume education bearing in mind only their private benefits, which is below the socially optimum level, ignoring the external benefits on third parties. It is a market failure due to allocative inefficiency. Resources are not allocated to boost consumption of education which will allow marginal private benefit to coincide with marginal social benefit. So, this is a form of intervention that will help to work do so! I have been wanting to contribute to Indonesia's society, and this is a good chance.

If possible, i would like to go a step further. I heard SIF is doing some form of exchange programme with Indonesia, honestly, i will want to be included, but i don't know how to get to that platform. Not only i will understand more of my country through that, being an overseas educated Indonesian, i believe i will be able to bring to my counterparts at Indonesia a picture about the world outside and thus they too will benefit. Can anyone link me up to this? Thanks!

I haven't been touching basketball lately. Think i am somewhat a rusted old gun. Will i come back to hit the courts? I don't know. The first one will be the inter-house games. Hope i can bring the team to achieve some result. A loophole, each house is supposed to be allowed 2 school players. My house has 2 already, but as i have already stepped down last year, i am not included, so that makes 3 i guess. Should be an advantage in a way or another. Talked to some juniors today. They want me to come back and join them though, we'll see how is it after promos then.

I just met up with the girls, yeah without Chujun. Okay, say it out, Siew, PQ, Karol, and Clari. Went to eat Thai food at Chuntin Rd. It was on Monday night, rainy night. The rest are busy, Alan's having training, CJ i dunno, Chris and JY got their prelims.

That's all,
Big love peeps

Mood to talk someone down.

2009-09-19T22:14:00.002+08:00

If you have been following up with regional countries disputes in South East Asia, especially in this region where i will call it the Archipelago, the Strait and this sunny island i am on.

Firstly was between the sunny island and the strait over a rock? I will say more logical then the next two that i will be talking about. I forget the island name, gotta find out soon as it may be used as an example got GP exam. In the end both of them split the rock island to two! What? So, what's the use? I don't know...

Next is over a culture that have been long in the archipelago and that it is so far away from the strait. Piss me off. Haven't they got something better to do? How old is the Archipelago and how old is the Strait? Geographically and i believe historically that piece of culture belongs to the Archipelago. It makes me feel that the Strait is desperate for more land, and i may assume it's an invasive act. Think twice before doing something. They event try to advertise their own country with that piece of culture. Halo!!! I am not tolerating anymore of that.

Lastly is over food origins which apparently is famous in Strait and sunny island. Many from afar came over to taste them. As usual, chinese claim that their families recipe is the best testing, but i never heard of trying to make that dish specially only in the strait. Well, anyway, just to remind all of us, chinese food originates from the mainland, which is brought over by our forefathers and which was later modified till today's special taste.

I don't understand why the strait is doing all these childish stuff, but i think it's trying to get a boost economically from tourism. The other reasons i can think of are quite childish though...

Re-Introduction

2009-09-15T19:58:00.002+08:00

Hi my name is Julius...

I started this week in a new class. 09S11. Yes, i don't have to take prelims anymore for this year, but there is still promotional exams to care of. Which is roughly 2 weeks away.

Sunday night i did toss and turn round on the bed, excited, yet worried how will people's eyes will be on me. From what i heard, S11 is not a really good class, so i am in fact worried. Fret not, i know it's kind of difficult to re form a social circle in a new environment, i have 2 guys i know, who share the same boat as i do. Neither are they quite distant to me, and neither that i know them well...

Lucky thing S10 is not having class or morning paper. I wonder what is people thinking.

The class is quite talkative in class, and i am really afraid that they are really slackers, but i was proven wrong. In fact i see potential in them, or maybe it's just the beginning. Didn't make much friends yet, only through some acquaintances. I still really cannot make out their faces yet.

Their arsenal of teachers may not on the overall look quite promising compared to those i had in 08S10. Not that bad either, it's really up to me to rake up some flame in my work now, furthermore it's only two days since i attend classes.

Honestly, i haven't have the chance to thank my class yet. For their support in my time as a class manager, even though come to think about it, i could be better, and most importantly, my teachers. To the ever so patient Ms Alice Seah, willing Mdm Goh, the powerful Ms Valerie Tng, Ms Wong who trusts me, and my great physics teacher Mr Andy Lee.

I left without a word. Abruptly. I'm sorry... If i have the chance to, i will give my thanks, moreover, all of them have left a mark in my life.

I shan't blog much about the struggle that I'm facing, there's a couple nowadays. I don't think many are in support of this 'Avolution', and what's there to blog about having a relationship that is denied by my family. It's all part of all teenage couple right? We're still going strong now. Yet, something else is diminishing. I am looking for a new way to balance this two sides of my life.

Anyway, Gunners lose again. Shit. Gunned down by former Gunner. Honestly, my faith in them are losing. Despite the arrival of the mighty Arshavin, and full back Thomas, still with the wonderkid Cesc managing the traffic flow. They need to show that they can produce results. Anyway, i am not bothered by these lately, i just want to immerse myself to improve my condition first.

Lags behind in Integration, and i need to fix my concepts on some econs stuff. I'll still try to emerge one of the top few in class, that's my short term goal.

4323

2009-09-11T00:49:00.002+08:00

This September holidays, i don't at all feel the holiday. May this be the last mishap that will fall upon me.

My dad is hospitalised, i think i told you guys about it. Should be not a big deal, still surgery! So yeah... To me it's still big deal!

How will school be like in my new class 09S11. So far i know Wei Cheng, Wei Yang is in there. Not bad, at least i know one soul there. But i wish my life can turn for the better. Everyone has their shit time in their life. Let mine be now, and leave the rest great...

Nothing much to blog, no inspiration. Haven't meet clique yet, even though it's holidays now. I'll be around town, Mount E. Call me up, i can always spare time for my dear friends...

The Avolution (2)

2009-09-03T23:26:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow is the start of prelims for JC2. Some of you may still be wondering whether do i still need to sit for the paper. Do i? Do i not? I checked with the school just now, and i am horrified to realise that they haven't proccess my request! To think that i always thought that my application was pending! May i know what the school is doing? I asked a teacher for help, my math teacher who is more approachable. She said she will try to look into the case. She knows it's torturing for me. No one can answer my question, so i decided to answer it myself.

At this very moment, my status is still a year 2 student in PJC. Thus i will be sitting for GP paper tommorrow. There after, god knows... Since next week is the start of september holidays and i doubt school admin will function.

Holidays, i guess i'll be making a few trip to the hospital. Dad is suppossed to be scheduled for surgery on Wednesday. I think... For am still not sure what the hell is wrong, and how bad is the situation.

So mama is away in Jakarta. Flew back today. I told her to, sparked a plan, cause the employees are going back to their respective village, and their bonus and whatsoever had always been my mum's duty. And she need to ensure the house is in order, since my maid who have been working with us for almost a decade already is getting married. Means, this time shw will not come back to work.

A brief history. Her cousin or aunt who worked for me previously had brought her in, which she too got married and never came back to work. She came in to work very young, and i don't know who will replace her as the more senior domestic helper. Two from a family. Their loyalty and relentless work is appauldible. They too play a part in my story. Wish her good luck ahead.

Sent mama to the airport. Crap jammed, and taxi fare was round 35! Return! Worse! David wanted to go to JP, so i thought of sharing cab down. But shit! When we reach, the fare was 40.55! Holy. 75 on cab. I really think a car is an affordable investment. Screw the peak hour charge and bla bla bla...

I promised darling to watch the movie "UP" with her, yet i haven't got the time. So we'll see if we can make it tomorrow or something.

Anyway, i feel appreciated and relieved to know that people are reading my blog entries. Thanks people, for trying to know me better. You know, being the only son, i really take my friends seriously. I really value your presence around me, and i look upon my acquaintances for goals in life sometimes. Among the readers is one of the most faithful one, my darling. You know sometime i feel more free expressing what's in my heart, the deadlocks. Cause i figure out it'll be the easiest way to relief my heart.

Julius, you must study hard okay! Remember your short term goal, and the path to your future. The family is on you... (am i dumb for thinking this way? I am still in my teen...)

The Avolution

2009-08-29T22:18:00.002+08:00

My life will undergo a serious transformation from now on. My schooling life will not be the norm i'm sticking to, cause i have gotten my doctor's letter that said "acute stress symptoms" and the parents letter requesting to postpone my A levels examination. So that means i am retaining. Yes, means everyone graduates and i am spending another year in that god darn college.

My feelings: quite relieved cause i don't have to take the exams in a rush and may be unprepared. Yet, i am scared at some point of time, it will look stupid choice. Though it gives me advantage, it's like doing a revision, and i am happy and now able to assume a better position in rankings. It also gives me wider options. Say if i do well next year, i can get into a local uni, and with a good prelims result, i can apply for overseas uni, which neither i am confident this year.
How people look at me: Mixed, some say go ahead, they understand. Some say why? Some say i am not brave to face reality. My mum says so too. She said even if you fail, there'll always be other way out. Thought it's a bit like pouring cold water, my decision is based on a more pragmatic approach.

My views: Yes, other way out, going overseas, leaving this sunny island where my life, my social circle is built is not that easy as i thought. I am sick of restarting my life, after moving from one place to another so many times, in the end, i got no childhood friends. So i am staying for another extra year. Told you about my plan available up there. I'm more happy now, but of course i can't bear to part with my mates, and to think about the stuff once you are done with A levels, makes me really really really... I don't know, i can't wait to get over this shit system...

I can never believe it, why this period is so bad for me. First i lost my drive to study. Then simultaneously i lost a family member who is kind of dear to me. Then now that my academics crisis is resolved, emotional pressure is up, and papa go a wierd "jelly" like thing in his chest. May need surgery! Shit, this makes me think that he needs retirement earlier, means that i need to work soon. I don't want to see him being tired and his body trashed, consuming medication like candies, and still stressed out supporting the big family. We really got to be more independent and step up, be self sufficient.

My papa is a great man, deserves credits for raising me up. I think he is never stingy, always providing the best for families. Generous, but the income got to match the output. Yet the income is diminishing, i assume...

Parents are putting more pressure on me, i guess i know they meant well. They don't want ditractions on me anymore, and hope that i will take the best way. I'm sure they don't want anymore nonsense from me anymore...

Post - griefing

2009-08-19T20:38:00.005+08:00

Yes, people come and go in our time, and we have to let go of the deceased to move on and let them go peacefully. I think i have gotten over it. But sometimes it's healthy to miss and let emotions run. Come to think about the past few months from march till now. I came to regret one thing the most. I should have gone back during the June holidays a while. Despite staying here, my results still crash. So it shouldn't make any difference.

When i was away, i left my poor darling here alone. The week may be fast for me, but i am sure clock is ticking for her waiting for my return. Mum and dad think that Soe, David and I shouldn't stay longer in Jakarta, so we left before the 7th day. As i told you, i missed the 11th of this month with darling. Her birthday is coming too! Really soon! And i guess i can only make it small this time. Will do more handicraft i guess... Oops, be careful not to reveal too much!

I can't talk to baby too much over there, when i'm out, I'll be busy. Sometimes driving, market, entertaining guest, praying etc. When I'm home, the reception will be shitty. Fancy me using the operator that gives the strongest signal coverage. Still Singtel is so much better i think. Worst of all, her health condition is not at tip top state. Argh, complicated. Sorry darling, can't be there for you that often. Only if i can split myself to two.

Today it's 83 days left to the A level exams. Outside the library, there is a countdown board. But i got no drive anymore. I got no feel to move forward. As much as i wanted to graduate, i don't want to leave this sunny island just because my poor results forced me to. I don't want to consider SIM, cause grass can always be greener elsewhere. Then what for ending up in a poly, i should have gone there last year. Maybe i won't be struggling there. I mingled with my dad's friends, talked to them, and see more of the world around us. More options appear. I hate it. Canada, Australia, even studying in Jakarta one year then moving to Monash. Worst of all, again, i lost my goal. My automotive engineering dream cannot do me much in Asia. There's no market here, and i definitely want to root either in Singapore or Jakarta. One of them say "study with your future in mind, of course, consider your interest". It's an emotional struggle that i never finds an answer.

Even the path that can stall more time and give me more chance is giving me difficulties. Because of the lateness of the god darn decision, i need a medical support so that i can come down. And that medical prove is saying that i cannot cope mentally with the pressure! Darn, it means i succumb to my strongest faith, to see the days ahead with hope, labeling myself as someone emotionally and mentally weak! Never mind, be pragmatic, for the extra year and A levels. But will that move taint my future? Added to my portfolio? I won't look nice, and dire... Feigning a mental condition isn't easy. In Jakarta maybe it will be easier. Over here, it's almost impossible. What should i say to the doctor? How will my parents think about the idea? Furthermore they aren't here. So i should go with what my parents teach me, try first, then say. Yeah, just try go to a fucking doctor, and try bluff through.

Charlie Chan said "it's better for you, chances will be better."
Ms Wong,"Things are still unclear, hanging in a balance"

Yes! It's a difficult time for me. I may seem okay, but i am close to succumbing inside. If i go to the doctor, it's not impossible that his diagnose of my anxiety or stress could be true. My piano teacher cum friend in indo, Venice, said that a horse when in desperation and cannot get what he want, he can even end up in despair, taking along everything he built, tearing them apart. Let's hope that it's not happening. Cause Noble who is full of hope start to lose his hope now. I'm starting to feel negative about studying further. My dreams of getting a Masters, it's so far... It's diminishing.

I'm still waiting for pictures of the wake. Maybe can post some up, to let you guys see what's the difference between here and Indo.

When will i see your face again?

2009-08-16T17:25:00.002+08:00

People say nothing is thicker than blood. So, losing you loved ones are always painful, and it's always a possibility in our lifetime. People grow old, and they go. What is left behind is their legacy, and it's up to us to continue it.

The 11th of the month as usual is the day for me and darling. But this time, 11th august 2009 another big thing happened that may again affect my life, the extent will be quite huge. I wonder how will the family change after this event. On Tuesday morning about 5 30 am, my paternal grandmother had left our side and moved on. News only reached me about 8 a.m when i am already in school. Mum sent me an sms,"to call back soon, important..." Reading my previous post, i think all of you can tell that i was rather prepared of this day. Nevertheless, i didn't expect it to come so soon.

I was suppose to settle my retaining stuff on that day, and wasn't at the best of mood. Rather stressed out. After calling mum, only to hear her crying voice. It's not the first time, I've experienced it before; when my maternal grandfather passed away. She used the exact same sentence. My heart just sank. I am lost, again.

I tried to be strong, but i still teared in front of Ms Wong and Ms Seah. i thought why must all this happen now, when i am under most pressure. Signed out. But before that talked to Mrs Tan, the principal. She said i need a doctors letter to back my decision of going down. I thought it will be easy, but going to a gp doesn't help, and i got to postpone the process. Caught afternoon 3 30 flight back. Thank you Ms Seah for the pack of tissue.

My routine upon touchdown in Jakarta changed. I make one less phone call, i hear one less voice. Mood was still fine, but there is hidden grief in me. Flew back with mum, aunt, Soe and David. None showed their emotions. But aunt is visibly shaken. We proceed to funeral parlor the where grandma is resting on the bed - her death bed. Sleeping peacefully, motionless. Familiar scene, just that, she will never respond to my calls anymore, and for forever. I will never get to hear her motherly voice again, her nags. I stayed calm, not for long. Tears started streaming.

Hesitantly, i touched her head, hair and face. Cold they are. Purplish; blood stopped flowing; no signs of life, but her expression, calm, and contented. I will remember the texture of her skin. I spoke. Under the encouragement of papa. He still look strong, but i know how affected he is deep down. Just that his ego and macho instinct of the head of family is refusing to give in.

We did the last preparation, to send her off. Her favourite clothes inside, blanket etc. Soon, i came to realise that it was the last time i will see her physical self. Lid sealed. Papa cried. For the first time, i can see his sadness. Despite being positive, and always able to look into the bright side. He teared. I put my arm over him. Embracing him. I don't know how to comfort him, because the loss is a permanent one.

Grandma's wake is grand. Traditional with our chantings and prayers by the "Zai Jie" And going through many ceremony which lasted 3 days 2 nights. Tired we are, sleeping late and waking up early, but it will really be the last send off. Friends came and we lost count of how many. Flower boards and cloths recieved reached 85. Life there is the same routine for my short stay in Jakarta. A week passed in a glimpse.

We sent her off grand. our convoy 12 cars long. And i was given the honor to carry her photo graph. I sat in the car carrying her body. Next to me, my oldest uncle. He was quiet all along. Often reluctant to help in the wake. But now i know why, he cannot face the truth, but he finally broke down. The burial ground is about 2 hours drive away. Grandma had the privilege of Military Police escorts. 3 crusaders opening the path, and toll booths payment were pre-arranged. I hope she have a good travel to her resting site.

The night before i returned, Saturday. I wen to visit her room. I sat there looking at her photo. Sat on her bed like how i usually do, by her legs which i will usually proceed to stroke her legs. They aren't there. I made her bed, sat by her photo. Soe was next to me. I said "Popo, i'll be going back to Singapore with Liong Liong and Fung Fung (Soe & Vid) tomorrow. Flight is at 12." Usually she would reply," oh, so soon? Okay, Shun Feng (have a good journey)! When you reach there call me. Study hard." I will remember that in my heart. Soe and I cried. Aunt came in, and joined in to flow tears. Again, passing the tissue to us. Thanks aunty!

No matter how strong you are. No matter how brave you are. There will always be times when you will breakdown. Some prefer to hide away. No matter what, departure of your kin is always painful. But again, it's nature's way. Our life got to move on.

I am afraid that after this, our family will not be as closely bonded as before. Will we? I am sure, it will be life's challenge.

I regret not going back to Jakarta during June. March was the last time i seen her. When i took care of her in the hospital when she was weak as the elders are busy getting about. Never i will expect that that will be the last time that i will see her, feel the warmth on her body. I should have talked to her when i am on the phone with papa on Monday. But now, it's too late. I can never do any of this anymore.

Grandma, go... Walk slowly, we will be fine. For no amount of gratitude can repay your relentless care for us. Just know that we love you, and that you will stay in our heart.

Rest in peace.

Times of trouble have soon begun.

2009-08-10T22:09:00.002+08:00

Singapore have reached another year mark since independence. Soon it will be Indonesia at 17th August. Lots of number to remember! 90 more days to A' levels for those who are confirmed taking it. And the countdown makes people like me who is unsettled even more panicking and desperate. Most importantly it's another 11th of the month tomorrow. It's another month for me an her. :) Yeap! Time flies so fast.

Anyway i have decided to settle my problems next week once and for all. I will just pluck up my courage, thicken my face, and grit through everything. Because the current state that i am in, is really mentally torturing. I think i will see the principal tomorrow. Yeah... As i said in the previous blog, people bless me... It's going to be a reality that i will be spending one more year in this !@# $%^& college.

How bad can this month be? I just receive news that my grandmother is again hospitalised. According to papa, it's not a positive outlook. Before that there is complains that her health has been weakening. There's nothing i can do, except for praying. Pray that she will go through. I guess everyone in the family needs to have a certain level of preparation.

Dad's plan of refurbishing his garage of cars is postponed. Well, nice to say, cause i got some feelings for the current cars. Especially that beloved G300. Not forgetting the car that i chose for mama, that blue Toyota MPV which i posted its pics in the earlier archives. Close to buying a CRV though. Hahahas...

Can someone give me information on automotive engineering please? My vision is blurred again. I think a mechanical engineering is not enough. to qualify me.

Okay, i got to sleep. Good night. Mama's being paranoid over everything. It made my life worse. Sometime i really enjoy chilling alone. my i-pod again, is my best friend. Good thing i have darling's company. Otherwise i wouldn't know who to turn to.

P.S: Thank you dear. (for all that joy you brought me)

Sincerely yours.
May the noble remains strong.

Where to find the greener pastures?

2009-08-08T22:11:00.003+08:00

Life has been rather mundane. Trying to be interested with my academic subjects that i am taking, hoping it can speed up my revision plans. A while ago, i was burdened with having to question my capabilities. My results haven't turned for the better. After three exams. None of them ever passed. Only scraping past promos with the help of serious moderations.

Coming to access why i had been like that leave me silenced. I have been fooling around. Studying less than fun. It's torturing to see how your academic performance plummeted, and to never bounce back up. I have been through something like this and yet regained my footings for prelims two years ago. The only relief is getting a C for my dear physics. The only hope, which in the end still wane away along with my confidence. It hit the bottom of the valley.

My life have always be given, a privilege, a privilege of choices. I began to wonder is that a more a boon or a blessing. My results and subject combinations that was offered to me when i applied for pioneer JC was so wide. I had to question where my interests is and unfortunately, choices had made me lost my view. Every path has its final picture, all of them alluring. Poly or Jc, science or arts faculty, now; abroad or Singapore retain or continue with this god darn A levels. I am sick of choices already. What if i want both? That will give me the most satisfaction, but it's never unattainable.

Faced with a crossroad, you must choose one in order to continue. The choice, balance between your wisdom, or your ideal. For example. Choosing science faculty, you are entitled to a wide path ahead, eligibility for social sciences and engineering, it's a more pragmatic approach i would say. Yet your ideal place may be in the arts. It allows you to learn with your passion, arguing the facts of history, expressing different views and opinions. But where will you with that ability? Is the South East Asian economy welcoming to you holding such skill? Do they even appreciate you? But definitely, as you study with passion, you will do well.

Even now, i am still believing that i am one who is able to adapt, you will say a utility person despite hearing a prophecy that i am an arts person by some guy i went for tarrot readings, and my recognised ability with history and interest in politics. I still believe i can do well enough to do well in what i am doing. Provided if i can restart my life in this institution. I will start anew, i will be a competitive student, who aims to beat, and to score.

Yes, in the end, the choice is mine, don't mind about what others say. What people say about me. I have lost the motivation to study for A levels this year. Continuing will be a boulevard of broken dreams. Retaining, will be an easier way, but yet, the emotional struggle and endurance may not be guaranteed.

Good luck Julius. In the advance education level, people are left alone. I am left to fend for myself. And i will be a guard dog, i will fight for my life. But even when i sort of made up my mind, things are not that easy afterall. I need support to strengthen. Bless me people. Please...

" **** u ugly fag "

2009-08-02T20:53:00.002+08:00

I thought i am receptive enough and have good personalities that i have been in little conflicts that led to enemies. Well, my friends can prove it. They will say i am not a tempramental person. But when i get mad, i really mean it.

to the person who just tagged on my blog, with some "**** u" and "ugly fag", if you meant fun, i will accept it and joke with you. But if you meant otherwise, i will say you are just a turtle.

Let me define turtle, some one who is coward, and hide in its thick shell. Yet it can't deliver a bite. In mandarin, it's called "懦夫". In bahasa, you are "pengecut".

If you are really unhappy with me, and if you are someone around me, please feel free to approach me and settle our score. If you are some random online blog hopper, please leave and not return, otherwise state why am i what you claim...

truly...

Bury-ing head, bitter workingly.

2009-08-02T20:36:00.004+08:00

Ah, please don't declare my blog dead! Just that i haven't been free lately.

Now with the time left to A levels, i am trying to salvage what can be salvaged. Work work. Everyone is doing so. I should be doing so too.

Ah, i gained weight again! Please don't tell my PE teacher, otherwise she will make me run rounds and i am so sick of it already.

Bomb bomb bomb! What the hell is the terrorist thinking? Bombing a recuperating Indonesia. They know no good for the majority.

Well, well, i don't know what else to put here. Not much feelings and stuff to blog about. Oh ya, baby's birthday is coming! Haha...

I need to bury my head like an ostrich again. Maybe be a mole! That will be better! Hahaha... Except, it's not in the ground. It's books!

Met clique lately! Short one. I miss the good times with them. Anyway, PJ's prom night this year will be at Orchard Hotel. It cost 80 bucks! Whooping... I don't care about the hotel, cause i will remember the night of DSS prom. For the people i am with. This time, the meaning and feeling will be for a different. I may be memorable, but will it be as complete? I don't know. Except that i am excited that i will get to go with a special one.

Big love people!

The servings may taste a bit worse than expected

2009-07-16T22:11:00.000+08:00

Well, mid years come to an end, now it's another countdown. Infact, the countdown starts last year. I gotta admit i didn't study well last year, that's why i am in quite a mess now.

I took mid years hoping for a pass in 1 H2 and my H1. My physics pass with a C, but my confidence in econs had failed me. It turn out i wasn't at my best. To think i foolishly assume and quietly celebrate in my heart, dreaming of passing econs.

I misinterpreted one whole case study. Got a pathetic mark for that. Essay, it turn out i hadn't write enough. Maybe it's a good choice to reconsider extending my stay at PJC. But think about it, i really cannot stand leading this type of lifestyle, and maybe, i am not able to bring myself to commit. This is bad!

Come on, i think i am one of the worse in class, yet again...

I got my plan b sorted out. maybe it's getting bigger and bigger. Or plan c, d, e, f... Ya, i can have lots of it, but what's the use without commitment. What i really need to do? Good question!

U____________________________________A

See that line? The starting line is U, where i am now. With just 3 months or less! I shall see where can i reach. I am realistic, so forget about touching the finishing line, but go as far as i can, better than regretting next time. Even if the result is not as far as i aim, at least i tried. So as the saying, this world will not have a dead end path for one's life. I'm young! and i am 2 years ahead of Singaporean guys at least.

Holidays which are created by luck!

2009-07-09T18:28:00.003+08:00

By luck, i have a holiday that stretches from Monday till today. It is unfortunate that we have to go back school tomorrow. Otherwise it will be a very eventful and happy week! The holiday is very makeshift, because our school mid year period stretches two weeks. And our combination have paper that piles on the first week. So the second week is for us to play! Hahaha...

So monday is Paul's (Soe's friend) birthday party at his house! Ate Thai food which was nice! Well, the only people i know is Soe, david, vincent and marilyn. Haha...

Tuesday is Xinpei's b'day bbq. Went out with Yh to marina square in the noon! Haha... Wonder why we ended up there. Singapore must be too small.
us at Marina's Precious Thots
Had a great fun at Aaron's place. Hahaha... Big highlights, Lester with the take down on Glenn!

Wednesday, soccer & lan-ed. It's the guys day out! Did a whopping performance at the cage, crashing in wonderful goals and absolute showmanship of linkage of the defense and offense. Highlights was the pair up with aaron, a cracking shot after getting to loose ball, apparently from glenn! The fabulous slide on Glenn and converting it to an offensive opportunity, with Glenn trying to seeking revenge sliding toward the wall as i do my beautiful evasive manouver only to be brought down by a clean tackle by aaron. Neson trying on the left, getting past Glenn, and apparently in an attempt to stop neson he landed the boots on Neson's thighs. A free kick to be taken by me, and i did a rocketing outward curl. What a fantastic shot it was. Well taken shot Julius! Lan-ed, left my poor Yh home and sick! Sorry darling, over played! Bad bad Julius.

Thursday, went to meet Yh early in the day. She has school, so she's in uniform. Went to Lot 1 to meet her! Ate and caught a Ice Age 3. What a cute and funny movie it is. Worth watching. Yh can't be home late, so she cabbed home as it was slightly raining. I proceed to BBDC to enquire about some enrollment stuff! Yess! I am learning to drive properly! At last. And get a license the right way. I guess i'll do it the private way! Hahaha... Tuition later!

Ciaoz...

Avoid the sneezes and coughs.

2009-07-01T23:16:00.002+08:00

The H1N1 has reached the shore of Indonesia. First in Bali, then now i heard it's in the capital already. Well, it truly should have a deadly effect. Since Flu strains are highly mutable, and with the H5N1 still widespread in Indo, there is a possibility it may merge. So judging by the fact that H5N1 is deadly, and that spead of the latter is proven to be fast, we can imagine what sort of evil new breed will be formed. It's time to stay at home more often.

I saw this documentary in discovery channel. And guess what, laughing 15 minutes aday can keep you healthy. Brings you benefits like helping in preventing heart diseases, better blood circulation, de stress, and trains your muscles too as it do involve flexing and relaxing of tissues etc. I won't be free to find relevant links, mid years...

Monday, Econs paper 2. Manageable paper. Left out some points though.

Tuesday, Math Paper 1 (disastrous! imagine leaving out 63 marks, it will take miracle to come back. never i have felt i am a fool in math, but it's the truth, i've not been practicing much.) Econs case study ( Lots to write, tiring to the hand, and time is really tight. Should be able to pass econs. Hehe. For the first time) Met Alan Choo on batok MRT! Gosh! What a joy to see him. He seem still as skinny as before. Alan! See this! EAT MORE YOU ASS!

Wednesday, Chemistry paper 3 ( Studied only physical chemistry. If i am asked for another year in that college, it'll be due to my inability and a bit of unwillingness to do organic chem. Told Neson what will i do if i pass chemistry, that is to sms Mr David Wong who took us for a term then left college - My first pass in college chemistry was under him, the dishonest way. Made his weekend, and look forward to give him a farewell gift. Arh, it's bleak now.)

Soe is "immune" so far. Hahaha... But i heard the flu infiltrated PJ's grounds too, so pioneers beware. School still never release any info, no comments. Look forward to suspension of school days. Hahaha...

Timbre with clique friday. Like at last! Yeah! :D

Miss playing bball. Missed the last game, could be my last forever. I don't know. The future is not for us to see.

One night before dismay.

2009-06-28T14:47:00.003+08:00

Sleep well tonight, good thing tomorrow is an afternoon paper. So, that's kind of Lucky, or bad. I don't know. Don't really care either. Mum's singing, my mood is good on the outside, but something is troubling me inside. I guess it'll be for tomorrow.

Remember to bring your thermometer yeah.

I just ate lunch, mama cooked my favourite squid. Don't feel happy eating it. Feel like staring at it longer. The plate of squid disappear fast.

Woke up this morning, rather late. Went for a swim with soe and david. They're here for last night. Yup... Went to visit the Asian Civilization Museum with dad last night since he have been wanting to visit the exhibition on Kang Xi emperor for quite some time already. Cut lots of queue though. There was about 200 metres of queue i guess. Sorry fellow queuers, you gotta be smart to win.

I'm settling down already, trying to start studying for today.
For the event later? Haix...

streaming into my veins and circulating

2009-06-25T21:45:00.003+08:00

Rush!!! That's my mood nowadays. Maybe i really do need the extra week of holiday. Well, the government is not allowing me to have it, so be it! I thought i got a back up plan though, which comes by luck, but apparently it will not work that soon. Anyway papa will be in Singapore tomorrow night. Come to think about it, usually if he's in town, my movements will be rather restricted! Hmm...

Anyway, i think i found a solution to aid my colour deficiency. There's this contact lenses that is believed to help, and lots of my counterparts have passed the Isahara test with it. It's a "Chroma Gen" thing i think. I checked it out with an optician today, and found out that it's only prescribed by specialist. I'm afraid it's gonna cost a bomb.

Transformer is out! I am determined to not miss this one. So i'm making a trip down to the cinema tomorrow. Yeap, just the both of us.

Missed mock test today. Can't open my eyes. Crash... Oh ya, tomorrow i have tuition, then maybe the clique will meet up. Yeah... Kudos...

I need a new phone, a new plan. Darn, i think i have been mis using my HTC. The screen is rather dented in the center, cause of the scrolling action by my thumb i guess...

My new watch! For those who have yet to catch a glimpse on it.

A Seiko. I don't know which model it is, but advertised by Daniel Wu yoz!

extended holiday?

2009-06-22T00:54:00.002+08:00

Sounds good? I don't know if it helps...

http://www.channelnewsasia.com/singapore/index.htm
Go this website to vote for extended holidays.

It's located under quick polls, on the left side bar.

But i don't think MOE's decision will be based on this. They will be more rationale. It may affect curriculum, especially the JCs.

Breaking through.

2009-06-22T00:15:00.003+08:00

Yesterday i went to what supposed to be training, which turn out to be half court games. It was due to the heavy rain, training was cancelled, which we decided to proceed to the shelter court next to Bukit Batok Sec. Yes, it was us, KX just sweating it out yesterday...

It came to my attention that i'm consistently losing balls, or other wise, getting balls stripped off my grip on offense, and maybe on defense but lesser. Hmm, wonder why, attacking instinct isn't there? :o It look like i will be playing for our last game of this year's youth cup. Our campaign isn't successful this season.

Next, i don't know how, about next year, about other competitions. A levels, i'm definitely taking a break from balling. Then, what about the future? Whether i'll still be in Singapore still remains a question. It's not like before, we're getting nearer and nearer out of the protected comfort of lower education. We're moving into the society, and no wonder they say it's a "plunge". Cause it's so big, and anything can happen. Otherwise, i set my eyes on Mechanical engineering in NTU, hope it can lead me somewhere to my automotive dream.

Okay, it's baby's sis' birthday! Woots... Happy Birthday! Haha...

Oh ya, anyway, have you guys heard about the news that school holidays may be lengthened due to the H1N1 outbreak? I wonder whether it'll be implemented. Cause it means more holiday and more time to study. It will disrupt our exams though.

Yeap, one more week to exam! Feel the rush...

Light up light up as if you have a choice...

2009-06-19T00:10:00.003+08:00

Haha... Brain, brain, i hope you can be a better sponge. How come nowadays you start to digest things slower and slower? Or is it, time is getting more and more little, that's why the rate seems to slow? Whatever it is. Yup, you know the "aha bulb" just need to light up now if i want to make it through.

I went to amk hub on tuesday, after studying at JE. I joined him and david and a couple of his friends, apparently i know al of them. Haha... A bunch of coolios too, very amazed by one of them's hobby-wakeboarding. Hahaha... Oh ya, his birthday is near i think, happy b day!!!

Missed the last clique outing, oh no... I really miss them a lot. I dunno, seems like it's been so long ago since i last seen them. Arh, i miss those sounds of their laughter, and yeah, the picture of us hanging out often appear in my mind.

Darling is a bit busy this week, her dad's b day, her sis b day's coming up. Oh, anyway, happy birthday uncle! Wow, second wishing already. The temple events and stuffs. Ahh, Anyway we caught a movie together this holiday.

And on the 11th Jun! Haha, celebrated simple, just watch night at the museum two, and shopped, more like window shopping. Cus both of us are in a financial crunch nowadays. To be honest not anymore, mama just gave me allowance. Hehe...

Oh ya, i almost got lucky, very lucky instead, could had a fortune. Missed by one number. Haha... Shh... My sixth sense is coming back...

My LeBron footwear is rotting on my shoe rack. Oh ya, ben, sorry, i'm kinda lazy to workout nowadays. Call me again to play tennis kay! I am darn bored now!

Ciaoz...

Bad decisions (yesterday)

2009-06-03T22:38:00.000+08:00

First Game for youth cup! Reached late, and ended miserably. Lost by a big margin. One comment, out powered. I think i lost the strength which i had trained before the school season.

Debut for my new shoe, LJ's soldier. Nike, Zoom air. very comfy, and it's light. Stability is exceptional for a forward's shoe, and not sacrifising agility. So it means centers can use them. The price speaks. It's good so far. But! As always, new shoes hurt. Wearing a new shoe for match! I knocked my toe againt the wall, which is still hard, and it sure hurts. Both! (1st bad decision)

Second bad decision (Is failure to muscle the opponents) Yeah, the only way to get through tough centers is to get tough first. From there, then tweak your stratergy. Lost lots of freedom of movement in the game. Communication seems to be lacking in the team.

Third, which is a major blow!

Note the watch!
Well, this watch has been with me for 3 years already. And accompanied me through the most memorable part of my 18 years life. I remembered it cost me $298. And it have been through so much, really alot. It never failed to attract attention from people, and surely, it was one hell of an pretty watch, classy, modern and everlasting. Been through o levels, keeping my time on track. Okay the list goes on.
Also according to my girl, she said that it was also something that caught her eye. Hehe... ;p I miss it now. Really miss it.

Poor watch. I mourn for the loss. Hope you get another good owner, that is more hardworking to change your strap, making his way to tiong bahru, despite of the inaccessiblility of the city chain service centre. Man, it's a titus! The one who get it gotta be a lucky man. Blame myself for my carelessness. Haix. I really miss it...

2009-06-02T20:14:00.002+08:00

Hey! I'm down studying this two days. Physics, which have been fluctuating the most this two years. It's like when i'm flipping through my notes, it's as though i'm like learning something new. This is bad. I hope i can push up to just meeting the line tomorrow. My cool is fading, definitely not a good sign a day before exam. A good sleep tonight is needed.

Tomorrow is the opening of youth cup. Dade told us that the lots are bad this year, and to enjoy ourself is the most important thing. True, the first fixture is already against Tagawa. It sounds like a huge dream to advance further, but last year i remembered we advanced into the second round though. Yet, the preparation that we had last year was so much more, the commitment that we had put in; two trainings, morning and evening in the saturdays. I felt, that last year, i took this cup so seriously, carried so much pride, but that spirit is missing this year. Have i changed?

Is it the same for all, or is it just for me? I have become oblivious to my surroundings now.

NFC and the Singapore river cruise.

2009-05-31T15:31:00.000+08:00

Yesterday i woke up as though it's a normal school day, it feels good though, cause it's not a real school day, take my time to dress up, and had a good breakfast. My class will be working as a volurteer to help out in this year's National Family Celebrations, an event by NTUC. Yep! As you can tell from my title, it's at the singapore river, to be exact, near the parliament house, ACM or victoria hall theathre.

Initially we are supposed to be around the game console area, where Xbox 360s are put up, for children and parents to game. Well, this plan is not really a success due to the uninterest of parents in this area. Apparetly i was pulled over to man the kiosk for the Singapore River Cruise ride. Apparently NTUC had given out letters to some of their members and issued free rides for hippo tour, hippo river cruise, rhino tour and the singapore river cruise. Well, i was lost at the beginning. Apperently, we weren't even really specifically briefed of the event well enough.

Job, crowd control. Easier said than done. Imagine you have to "herd" 150 people to a boat. And apparently one boat carries 45! so, they gotta wait. And Singaporeans are really really mean at times. I am standing in the hot sun for the whole day already, and they just create a fuss.

Favourite remarks "You guys(refering to the organisation) should get your actions right!","how can you all send such letter! We come and no tickets" "You all happily make us walk around","You all lousy lur! why never build shelter, expect us to stand here"... More and more... Can't they get it, the ride is free!!!!! Wth!!!

I was shouted at, scolded and whatever. "It's not my problem, i'm a voluteer :)" is my only defence. So, the highlight, it's when this group from south toa payoh cc came with 79 strong. Oh shit... Withing 5 minutes is the arrival of the VIP. And, how is it possible for me alone to clear a path for the VIP? When screaming don't work, i don't know what to do. "i need more security here now!" That helps! hahaha... So i helped create a path, divide them, apologise here and there, and then, say a word of welcome to the GOH. I saw a camera lense on me, so will i be up on the news? Hehehe...

Time ticks like a snail, only hydrating myself, i'm definitely tired. Brainpower, patience and testing my ability to organise. Whew, i learnt a lot. Thought about it, is stood under the open sky, rain n shine, julius is there :( Shit. I just recovered from my 2 weeks long cough.

My poor flat footed leg hurts like hell. After everything ends, i'm dead beat, and head hurts. We was rewarded a free Singapore Flyers Ticket though, could be fun. Of course at Bt Batok, a last training is on. Neither, forget about the first singapore flyers tickets, i grabbed a bite and homebound. Thanks to Darling's dad who sent me home. Got a luxurious ride home, that's quite rewarding! Haha... Missed training, never dared to ask mama if i could go, she will say no in the end, and all that fuss. Dreamt of a good pass in a fastbreak, i miss everything. Wonder who is it that i pass to, a good run though. Woke up at 12 this today. Gasp. It's sunday.

Was it worthwhile to spend a saturday like that?

Hidden shades...

2009-05-28T20:59:00.003+08:00

I thought i am a guy who got no illness and feel rather fortunate. Have i talked about my encounter at the optometrist? That got me a letter to certify that i am a red and green colour blind and need help in some exams. Well, i though what mama said was true, i'm too stubborn to lear the colours when i'm young. I refuse to believe there's something wrong with my genes, something lacking in my eye.

Hang on, why the sudden random topic. I was learning light spectra of quantum physics, then my teacher suddenly talk about colour blind. We just can't see as much colour range. I suppose our receptors detects lesser range of frequencies of light waves. That was his explaination.

Come to think about it, i'm at an age where everyone starts to learn driving, which is undoubtly what i really love to do! My passion is cars! Not that i can't drive, in fact i have been driving earlier than most Singaporeans do, and i am proud to say i'm better than my cousins who start learning together with me. The problem is not in Indo, but over here. Definitely one day i will need a local license, as indonesian license is largely invalid here. The test is scary, i consist of the "Ishihara test". SPOTS OF COLOURS! OBJECTIVE: SEE NUMBERS IN THEM.

Example

First one is 25, and you and i can see. Second? I can't see! Do tag me what you see yeah. All i see is random spots. Well, how to pass the first test to even enrol in the famous BBDC. Jeez...

"When you see what we can't see, you may understand why it's so tough to find the right sox and why we like bright colors, which are often identifiable." - http://www.toledo-bend.com/colorblind/Ishihara.asp

GP's tmr, anw i made a wrong statement. My H1 physics is next wednesday!

Time to update

2009-05-25T22:59:00.002+08:00

Wahai!!! It seems like years again since i update! Sorry... I dropped by a couple of times, thinking what to blog, but my fingers seem to not move. Well, today i shall try my very best.

Okay, first i'm sick! Got a lame theory to why i fall sick, which i shan't share here! hahaha!!! Throat infection, dragged on for 1 week already, affecting my hearing a little, and of course, flu. Well, nothing wow wow, they come in a package you see! Visited the doctor again just now, and that bugger gave me 625mg antibiotics! Wth! Is it that serious? No MC though. Rest more and water!!!

Mid year is just round the corner! Err, to be exact, GP paper in on friday, Yes! This friday! And H1 paper is next friday! The rest is after the holiday! No rejoicing, i come to realise, i must timetable my holiday. Oh no... Like immidiately!

Missing everyone, somehow i cut off myself from the outside world that i'm in. I wonder why? Where have everybody went? Arh...

I got new wishlist up. Haha...

And so far, i shall write till here.

Lame stuff:
"hey! I'll be organising a birthday party next week. Remember to come, and when you reach my doorstep, ring the bell with your elbow!"
Qn: What is the person trying to imply?
Credits to my darling*

Ans: "Please do not come empty handed! (Gifts!)"

What i want?

2009-05-12T23:26:00.003+08:00

Okay... TS Commander, you served me well enough already, and think it's time i find a replacement. Or, do i need one? But i really wish to replace that worn out shoe, cus somehow, the shoe, for me, represents a new journey, and somehow, it just fall in place between important events. The TS commander was for me to tide through the Inter Schools! Which apparently, i had failed myself, dissapointing my shoe! Pfft!

i want a new plan for my phone! Bill keeps on bursting, and is it time to change phone? Cus this diamond gives me some system error! Ahh... Sad case! It's wifi capability is no where near an iphone/pod touch. If i want to replace my phone, i want one with qwert keyboard. And touch screen! And, nice design, with above average multemidia capabilities! Hahaha... Intro me anyone?

I feel so lazy today, dun feel like doing work. I wanna sleep all day long! Oh, one important test is coming, Chem SPA (science practical assessment) Which is counted for 'A' levels! And the last one already! Yay! Let's do my very best! Hahahaha...

Year one

2009-05-12T21:43:00.002+08:00

Yay! Yesterday again it's the 11th May! Oh my god! Tick tick tick! Time flies, from meeting, to getting to know each other, to getting deeply hooked onto each other!

Yeah, this relationship had marked the first year yesterday.

Through thick and thins, we sticked through quite a number of challenges already. But still not much enough, cause you never know what lie ahead and am sure there'll be more challenges ahead.

:) I'm a happy person yesterday! Spend a day out with yuhui! :) :) can't stop smiling,
First of all we watched movie! The Ramen Girl. The story is good, telling us the importance of perseverance, and that with faith, something tough will still be accomplished!

Yeah, faith!

After that, despite muching a lot in the cinema already, we went to walk a little, then decide abruptly on eating Korean food! The ramen, in another word, the korean maggie mie! But the surely cooked it well, and it's rather sumptious as compared to others, and it taste wonderful! Or maybe, anything wil taste ultra superb when time spent is sweet! Aww... It's at the food court of the Concorde Hotel anyway.
Wheez, it's such a ramen day! hahaha. Oh, initially she wanted to eat hot dog! Hehehe...

Next stop, Plaza Sing. I went there two days in a row already! Hahaha... Sunday for my facial, and yesterday with darling, supposed to help mama buy some kitchen exhaust filter, but a pity they don't sell the brand that we are using. So went off empty handed.

Ahh! Before eating we went to Centrepoint! Hehehe... I'm so forgetful! Had a happy time there! :D Walked around, and browsing stuffs along the way! Wahahaha... Bought cards for each other. Fun thing to do! Thank you for the card dear!

On the whole time spent was all thumbs up! It was a quality time. But a pity good times flies! Pfft!!! It all ended too soon, and then we got to go home! Sent her home, and bought dinner home. School starts again today, still longing for such nice days like yesterday! Ahhh...

Taboo

2009-05-08T22:13:00.002+08:00

Taboo is defined as something against the norm. So what is the norm now? After asking a few people, it seem that to study is a wise choice. Yea! True! I start to feel a sense of guilt if i failed to touch my book or learn something in a day. And i just feel like conserving my energy devoting myself to some of the most important thing of my life.

It seem that i am to cut off from any form of time consuming entertainment. And i just lost touch with everything around me. I am rather lost, what to do?

Study 10 hours a day like what the econs lecturer said? Crazy, but is it necessary?

I am so used to seeing things the wide way, and i am forced to dig deep now. Which i am not apt in. Things are getting more tough to handle now.

Lost

Business

2009-04-24T23:05:00.002+08:00

Yeah, after meeting the nice VP of PJC, Mdm Tsai. I am really bent on working hard. The road is going to be long, i am not going to set a time limit of how much i am going to study. I am going as deep as i can, and i will need every minute.

I'm entitled to night study programme, and i hope it's really going to be useful to me. I changed myself, i changed my opinion on my studies, my mentality on my subjects. I need to learn to love them and not complain about them. I tried to listen to every word in class, lectures... This was spurred after i saw teacher's remarks on me, i need to show them that i am qualified to stay in this level.

Tiring, my brain never took a stop, i will try to maintain this enthusiasm of learning. I vow, i will never dissapoint myself, and my beloved parents again. Mid years is coming, let's start with banging passes...

Hey, i never got the feeling of ball on my hand again. I lost confident in myself, and team mates lost confidece in me too. It's a chain reaction. I played two games for KX in this Payalebar Cup already. No trace of the old feeling, i lost fighting spirit. It will take time to come back, after everything stabilises, after i sort my thoughts. Meanwhile, can't guarantee to show a good side of my game.

I regret for not turning up for two games already, thanks to some compulsory things. I knew that it was hard, it was totally irresposible of me, leaving 7 or 8 to fight and play their wits. But all i can do is blame myself, i should've studied harder, stop having fat hopes. Bubbles will only pop in the end.

Here's a message to my darling :

This time it will really be rough, it's even more difficult to tide through. I want to hold your hand and pull ourselves out. Once we're out of this shit, better times will be on our hands!!!

:)

Which road to hit?

2009-04-12T22:25:00.003+08:00

First, congratulating the Demokrats for the victory in the polls! A pathway for another term, which can change the face of Indonesia. Simple and sweet!

I'm not in much mood to blog, even though i may look alright, in my heart there's lots of stuffs running. Mainly my discouraging studies. Now i know how it feels like being stuck in the middle of the ocean , where you see no land, no goal ahead of you. I am not confident of myself scoring, forget about scoring As, i would be glad if i make it to mechanical engineering. Assuming at least i can do something with cars. I got no drive to push forward now, i tried improving, but it's still never enough. It's like climbing a staircase made of cardboard, climb, climb, but! It's empty below! Is my basics really that poor? Or is it, i am just unwilling to put in the effort. I can't even answer which of it is the cause of my failure.

I don't usually say i can't. In fact, i hate to say i can't. But i dunno why i say this. There's a chemistry retest tomorrow. For those who score below 30 i think. Well, i scored a 25. Maybe i should have just don't go for the chemistry paper during the test. Hahaha... Waste of time, sitting twice. I gave up. I didn't even touch books on chemistry this weekend! Hahaha...

Yesterday's training reminded me of something. I really need to go into a local tertiary education system. Local means Singapore, though i'm from Jakarta. I have constucted my life based here, in this island country, and i really got no life in Jakarta other than my relatives, which i think, their life wouldn't have a difference with me or without me. I love the archipelago, but i can't bear to put down this life here, so much of the memoirs, so much work, so much commitment. And the life so endear to me. Will this be my source of drive? For the people around me, maybe i will be able to hit the local university. For now, let's start from the basics again.

Give the man another term... Please!!!!

2009-04-09T23:46:00.000+08:00

Yeah, Indonesia's DPR (Parliament i guess) election. Which means the Presidential one is really soon. But this election cannot be taken lightly i guess. Imagine a President without his followers in the government, it will mean he's without much power, and even if his plans are good, it may not even be passed!

I believe the current President of RI is not bad, we definitely see he made efforts to cack down on corruption, believe in equity, and i would say, more diplomatic. Some things that puzzles me, why is that the vice appears on news more?! Err, shit, this is very tricky situation, shan't comment further. Think better stop, i'm not much in power and credential to comment. But i think you guys can tell who i supports.

Think again, how can a leader make a difference in a country that is in quite bad a condition in just one term of five years, and that there is so much disturbance and obstacles? I believe this man and his party should be given another term, and see if it made a differece. Anyway, if you don't realise, how many president have we changed in this decade? A lot! I guess he deserve another term, afterall, we can see slight improvements, but definitely not enough a difference.

It's been ten years now, since the 1998 incident, that almost end my life, that almost turn my life around making me homeless. A lot fled the country, and never returned. I have a couple around me, but definitely, i still call Indonesia my homeland, my nation. I hope it'll be a better place, a place of prospects, a special place with so rich culture, not forgetting the fabulously diversified nature. :)

After learning SS in singapore, try " Education, Employment, and Housing "

Hope slums will start to disappear, at least in Jakarta, and kids won't be on the streets anymore. Good luck.

Nothing at all

2009-04-07T23:56:00.002+08:00

Yeap, i got zero passes. This is really really really bad. What can i do with such nonsense performance. I may be numb, i got no impression when i recieve papers after papers, but that doesn't mean i'm not affected. Surely do, it downed on me, that i may be put under the risky category! I pass none! In a relatively not so difficult examination! Am expecting to see principal soon.

Tired, KX training today. Not much 91s turned up, didn't perform well too. Team communication basically wasn't there, and defence i would say is non existence. I don't know why, and that includes me. I thought my defence was my weapon, but i don't think so, i become very lazy, no more in the competitive mode that drives me to work hard. I don't know, i think i need to revamp my whole aim, my dreams...

Lately i'm thinking, why not be an engineer for some car company. Since it's my passion that never seem to die. Zzz... There's little prospect for me in Singapore. Is there such courses related to that in the Universities. I seem to need to restructure my plans.

The really don't blow me away...

2009-04-05T00:10:00.003+08:00

Latest update, i flunk chemistry! Getting 2 of 40 from section C, so you guys can guess how terrible is it. I failed GP, borderline. Even though i expect to pass, but in fact i had forgotten a few things that should be paid attention to, and i've been assuming too much. Please remember to write evidence for every point you say! My whole essay could earn me a pass, if it's with evidence. I think my arguments and points are quite relevant. I could have passed econs, but i didn't. Not enough time studying, thus weak in working round an argument, and time management. Jeez...

I can't believe all this don't seem to affect my mood a single bit, while it made some tear, some jumping around (of course not with such lousy result!). Ironic isn't it?

Lately, i fall asleep as usual, but somehow i wake up still tired, it's like my brain hasn't really stop thinking all through the night. Why is this so, my concentration becomes short, needing me to put even more effort and strength to concentrate in class, and by noon, i'm weary, and when concepts crowd in, i'm all helter and skelter, like someone holding two balls, but more are being thrown to him. I want a night of good sleep, like i always do...

Today's event is in town. Went out with clique. At last, got a nice outing with them. After like 2 months not seeing each other. Went out with baby first initially. Caught a movie, the shinjuku incident. Now i know Japanese mafia can really be scary. Lol... Missed training... hahaha... Oops... My physics result will be out on tuesday! Hope i pass, heard lots of failure, pray i make it to the top few percentile.

Never i am this numb...

2009-04-01T22:01:00.002+08:00

Taking back of results, math is already known, and it's supposed to be my strongest subject. And my strongest subject fail me. Got a 40 of 100! What shit is that? At least others out there still have hopes in their chemistry, mine is a total gone case from day one. I just can't get a shit of it. The rest of the results has yet to be released, physics better be better. For GP, i heard it was a total bloodbath, i wonder how do i do, usually even if it's a bloodbath, i can scrape through and emerge above the average, so i hope it's the same this time. No comments on econs, i never studied enough, and some concepts and content still needs to be strengthened.

This CT can be fairly easy to pass, yet i did badly. Despite so, i got no emotions over it, not guilty of not studying, not remorse of not paying attention in class, nothing at all. It's scary.

Woke up a little late today, cabbed to school. I got no more maid now, so mum made breakfast, somehow it just make the bread and cheese taste far more tasty. Arrive in school on time. Supposed to end school early, but school's taking friday's timetable today, due to the number of Fridays we missed, so it end at 3. Tired, and school is getting rather lifeless. Feel like just chilling around. Argh...

Waited for sweetheart in school, cus she's having CCA, the weather look bad, stayed in the library. Then she got to stay later, Drama stuffs that needed to be completed, thus i made a move first. Thought of playing ball with Ben and Wei quan, but far too lazy. Rotted at home. Miss my baby!

Sleepy now, i'm so going to sleep earlier.

Gdnight!

Tiffs can make us stronger!

2009-03-30T22:21:00.002+08:00

A little bicker here and there will more colours to the life, making life to look more vibrant after a laugh at how silly things can be. A little argument heats up life, and leaves you tingling warm after things cool down, and may even spur up passion, also devicing a new way to sort things out and a step forward to understand your partner better. A major breakdown and quarrell is painful at times, and could have been prevented if even better communication is forged. Yet, this is a process to realise how much you cherish each other, and through this, the connection bond is even stronger. Though it must be handled with care, or else things may go bad! And in this type of scenarios, both have their wrong, and both must be sorry... :)

Yeap! Just had a bad quarrel with darling over the week end! I'm sorry baby! I promise to be a better man ;) I am so sticking with this girl who fill up the spaces in my heart! Lovely...

Common test is coming back to my hands. As i was saying, i couldn't finish econs paper, chem is a total throw away paper, and that leaves me with math and physics as my only hope. I hear math is bad, what about physics? The paper is challenging, yet quite straight forward. I can only hope for the best.

I realise, my days are going to be more free now. No training for school, kind of felt left out. Miserable Benedict and Julius. So i guess i'll accompany my sweetheart more often, and spend more time studying. Try to salvage my poor academics.

Oh no! Tomorrow is coming, Back to school. Now i have this dread to attend tutorials. How will the teachers look at me? Gosh, i should have known things like this will happen, yet i still don't buck up enough. Serve me right.

I bought myself a new sound system to replace the aged and cheap one on my desk now. It cost $19.90 roughly 4 years ago? Now i replaced it with a $129 one. Comes with a subwoover, and crisp sound. Awesome. Been eyeing on a couple of models, including BOSE, JBL, Sony, Altec Lansing, in the end decided to settle with Creative instead.

My TS Commander is well worn out now! It had served me well enough. The grips are failing, and the protection and support is starting to weaken, almost sprain my ankle again, surely signs to get new ones.

I want a new bag, so sick of my current one. Darn! I'm really spending my way out the recession, but i will have lesser purchasing power in the future! It's time to hold back again...

Sour!

2009-03-24T21:30:00.002+08:00

Oh my gawd, i can;t believe i'm such a sour plum! Bitched all day long in KAP as ben and i was studying for econs. Anyway, today is the start of common test. Econs, case study and 4 essays to write. I guessed coped fairly fine in the case studies, but a total disgrace in the essay part. Shit! I'm so gonna face the music, those evil eyes and sinister expression of Ms. Teng, of course not forgetting the criteria to be met, still 2 H2s and the H1.

Maths is tomorrow, forgotten a lot on the J1 topics, and i am so screwed up. I guess i can only get pass with maths and physics. That's my target for CT. My Chem as usual, is a total blunder. No wonder Ms Lim Ai Hong gave me that sacarstic "hur" when i told her that i took chem.

Anyway, we are subdued by IJ, according to Mr Yap, the boys played a bad game. Aww, will i make a different if i was in? Does it have any effect to re visit that? Guess i gotten over it, just a bit itchy feeling, i "quite like" the current jersey! Hell, i love it! Looks nice! we made it a must to beat VJ, so it makes life even tougher for the guys now! Play well! I'm always supporting you guys!

Thanks for the encouragement, surely it help to lift me up, lighten my spirits though, i though my blog is like sort of a deserted area. Well, still gotta go, i needa continue with what i'm doing. I'm so gona re oorganise my thoughts after common test is over. So crammed up, you know it's just like a computer which hasn't been defragmented for a decade... Yeah.

Anyway, i found a new way to school, taking 961. Faster, but fairly bad route if it's raining. Going school with Dean and Amy, and that stranger who stays in good luck garden. Hey, people staying in my area, a word of advice, 985 is a killer bus. It cannot make you early, it can only make you late.

Chiaoz...

Looking forward for the gathering with the Clique, Chromium and a little of class BBQ.

结果却拿不到半个奖
不知该笑不笑
我对着镜头傻笑
只觉得自己可笑
我难过
却不是因为没有得奖而难过
我失落
是因为看到外婆失落而失落...

...我没输
不需要改变
表哥说不要觉得可惜
这只是一场游戏
只要外婆觉得好听
那才是一种鼓励
外婆露出了笑容说她以我为荣
浅浅的笑容
就让我感到比得奖它还要光荣
Taken from 周杰伦- 外婆

I really find Jay got a thing in writing songs! Yup, i didn't lost, it's just a game. I just need to make sure i put my very best, and people around me will feel proud of myself.

one dish, two different feelings

2009-03-16T19:46:00.002+08:00

How time flies, a 3 days 3 nights camp came to an end. I worked out a lot surely. Booked in to school at 5 plus, settled down and making our makeshift beds with tables. I can't really recall about day 1. Day 2 started out with a 6km run. Surely it felt good, running as a team, in the warm morning sun and cool breeze. Breakfast, then noon, trained a little, and a team without and team looks came. All of us screwed up. Got high jump mats as our bed. had it cleaned before sleeping. Day 3, woke up, no run. Breakfast is bread. Will be a rather busy day. Trained in the morning, New town came over. Played a match after that, they showed us how to do the double teaming. Studied. Napped. Whatever. Coach invited his previous players. Matured players. Good, fast, and decisive. Struggled to keep up and break them, tired too. Showered, team talked. Can't sleep well that night. Day 4. Woke up, trained. Wasn't feeling well, a bit giddy. Pushed myself through the 4 corners drill. Then trained defense, and played matches against each other. I guessed i screwed up, did i? It doesn't matter anyway.

My main point of this post is not this. The team of 12 was announced just now, just before break camp. I am not in... I acted tough, despite i am not. My emotions can be shifted off balance at the slightest touch. Coach mentioned, that he may be dropping one more J2 for a J1, to give them more exposure. What a pragmatised move. I guessed i am the one sacrificed. I am very discontented with this outcome. After what i had put in, improving my stamina, from a 2.4 timing of 12-13 mins, i got it cut to below 12. With visible improvements when moving up and down the court, faster, and lasting longer. More clear headed, thinking of ways to command the defense well, making sure that there are no gaps in the zone. Ensure there will be communications during the team. Trying to better my teamwork. I dared to say my i am in the sector of a useful player after what i had put in and shown.

My passion for the team, my heart and soul. Trainings had became a part of my life. I take these team mates as brother, and believed that a brotherhood had been formed. I desire for that piece of jersey so much. It could have been my only official school competition jersey. My first and only one in my schooling life after missing it once, and totally giving up basketball for 2 years, building from scratch again last year. Even i am confident that i can contribute somethings to the team, even started to wonder what is my role. I though since i am the second stringer, my job will be to fill in for the worn out main stringers, slowing down the opponent, and using my size to box out opponents, assisting my colleague to grab a rebound easier. Help defense, stopping opponent centers from getting a ball and pose a threat. Of course easier said than done, but it's a fact that i had done it, gotten appraisal, and is able to do it again!

It's bad enough to take away hopes, but hopes comes in every way. But i think it's a sin to deny a dream of one who puts in pure devotion. What a twist of fate. My dreams of playing together with the team, and maybe if we go far enough, to be able to stand at the ramp during morning assembly and announce the latest win, tell the school of our tale. Do pioneers proud. Because i believe merits are based on our interest! In any case, this is a phrase i thought of when pioner bball got demoted to an interest sports.

My school basketball venture had come to an end. In tears... I feel left out of the main squad, just like what coach Ming qu said. Game is like a war. And i am a soldier, a qualified soldier who is left out, amidst the injuries that laden the team, Zhi kai spraining an ankle, Ming soon suffering a knock on the ankle, and our biggest guy "dom" having some problems with his hamstring and back. I could have added a more experience fire power than the new J1. Furthermore, i believe it will be better if i am playing, at least we understand each other more, and terms aren't that good with the J1s.

I would want to thank a lot of people that put hope on me. Huihan-the vice-captain, the one who brought me into bball again. He puts hope in me, taught me lot's of things. My mirror, telling me what had i done wrong, what should i do instead. His words of encouragement if i did something good. I see him as a leader on the court, much as i respect him for his experience, and his skills, of course, lot's of other qualities. Coach- a good and experienced coach. Easy to talk to, and resourceful. Coming up with critical strategies, that can turn the tide. Taught me lot's of new concepts. Advising me how can i make my game better. Dadex-correcting my basics, having faith in me, and having confidence in me. Surely it gave a boost to my morale. Not to forget rooting in for me. Weiquan-a great friend, someone who you can talk to, and trust. Benedict-my companion, late together, someone who i can laugh with. Easy going guy! Hahahaha... Yuhui-For standing by me, even though my training schedule is shitty (but yield no result). And all of you who are involved in a way or another. Thank you all of you. Though i don't make it to the team, what you all guys done had surely pushed me an inch closer to the place.

Pioneer's 12
Cap: Weijie
V-Cap: Huihan & Christopher
Shao quan, Ming Soon, Zhi Kai, Dean, Mark, Dong Sheng, Joshua(J1), Demund (J1) and Zhi shuo (J1)

Nothing can be done to reverse this now. I just gotta move on, and wish all of you luck. Please go far. We had put in lots of work! Remember the hardlines! The 3Cs, and work hard!

The one dish, is my lunch at home. Mum cooked sea cucumber. Good food right? A pity it's not meant for celebration. It suits more of replenishing and giving me the necessary nourishments i lost. Thanks mum. I love you! Yet to tell them i am out of the team, wonder how will they react. Lucky she didn't see my red eyes... :)

If we are going to Malaysia...

2009-03-11T22:48:00.004+08:00

If we are going to Malaysia...
We would have pit against stronger team.
We could garner more experience in dealing different types of situation.
We would be an even more bonded team when we return.
We know where we stand, and able to picture how far can we go.
We would have fun.
We could better see where is the weakest link, and correct them.
We would be more focused.
I can have my first overseas outing with school...

These are IFs, trip had been cancelled.
MFA Singapore advised the school committee that it will be a slight risk. Just a few weeks a go, about 1 or 2, Malaysia has a massive political demonstration, though the chaos has been sorted off, it may still strike back. Learning past experiences of the Mumbai incident lately, it has been proven that Singaporeans are a prominent target to be held as a bargaining tool. So it's rather dangerous, lest anything happen, and we are held as hostage.

Being an Indonesian, i understand what will it be like. My experience tells me it should not post much harm to us, unless our travel is high profile. Which is not! But again, better be safe then sorry. We're traveling with school anyway, and we got no power to overturn the table. This trip is changed with a camp in school. Effects can still be desirable. Anyway, it's just the fun factor that's different. Maybe we can train better in school.

Mood was bad after the news was broken. I felt played out. Surely the whole team was really looking forward to this trip. Hopes were so high, and suddenly it's like a plunge. How i hope Mrs Tan could say "it's all a joke, have a safe trip!" at the end of her talk today. It never came. Still sad. Wanted to go queensway to buy stuff necessary for the trip, but just forget it.

Went to watch movie with Yuhui instead! It's the eleventh again. She ate 2 hotdogs today! And still said should have bought 4! It's okay, since she's severely underweight, and it's one of her favourite junk! hahaha... Wanted to make myself happier, relief myself of the bad news. Marley & me surely is a nice movie. Talking about that, this movie really made me think. The story revolved round a dog, a trouble maker, Marley. How the family loved it, no matter what nonsense it did. Comparing to my boys in Jakarta, Chloe and Bernard, Marley is so much better off. It was my fault, i couldn't take good care of them. The state that they had gone into is just pathetic. Matted coat, Golden retrievers look fabulous in their silky fur, mine are nowhere near. I doubt they are well fed, living conditions should be bad. I heard they fall sick a couple of times already. Bernard was suppossedly beaten up, it developed a phobia going outdoors.Unlike it's old self, always the naughtier one among the two.

"I want to bring them over!"
"Where are you going to keep them?!"
"Balcony?"
"Are you nuts or something?"
"No! I just wanna take care of them..."
These are heated arguments with dad over dinner on Sunday. I got quite emotional. I would want them to have someone caring for them. If anyone wanna adopt them, feel free to approach me. But i cannot bear to part with them. They are lovely dogs. They surely is.

"Chloe, Bernard, I'm sorry..."

The movie also depicts how stressful it can be to have a family. Switching of jobs, bills to pay, lack of rest, time management etc. They do strain the relationship. At this stage, people split up, but can't they think of the sweet harvest in the end, when you know you put in so much into the family, see your seeds grow and graduate, grow old with your spouse. Well, it will be easier said than done. The keyword is "perseverance". Commit yourself, because even tea, which can taste bitter at times, leaves you a tingling sense of sweetness later on... I guess i should concentrate on my studies first. Now, i'm again reconsidering my career prospect. What will be will be! Good luck everyone!

Anyway, i heard some school in our group do not put PJ in their eyes. And heard they are training equally hard. If that's the case, we'll further sharpen our knives. We won't budge in that easily, even if they are taking a victory, we will make sure you will limp a victory...

Ball Ball Ball Ball !!!

2009-03-06T23:44:00.003+08:00

Hey, i mentioned earlier about blogging some political scene? Alright, never mind. I forgotten about it, life is so busy with tests, and basketball. My SPA was just over, thanks to Mdm Goh! She rocks my SPA! hahaha... Without her i would have given in an empty sheet of paper! Today was Physics test! Did a careless mistake though, shit! A cake actually.

Well well! As all of you know, common test is round the corner, and guess what? My 'A' Division clashes with it! Cool!!! It was the worst thing i ever heard of, but maybe a blessing in disguise, you never know. It's on the 23rd March, fixtures is still not made known to us, and who is in and who's not, we're still guessing...

Anyway PJC bball will be going over to KL next weekend. A 3 days 3 night trip, the bball team of 15 and the netball girls. Objectives is not to play, but to gain more experiences, and trainings! I hear there will be studying slots too. Pfft... That is sickening, yet necessary to ensure we do have a balanced life. After all, i'm in this shitty JC system.

Had a couple of friendlies with the school. Temasek JC, Dumnan High. the results are desirable. We came down tough on them, and could easily control the game. Today is Dunman, and we played them the third time, this time at their new home ground. Recieved a fine praise. Happy! hehe...

Alright, tomorrow is NJC with Kaixuan. Time to gain as much experience as possible. Yeah...

21st year for Soe

2009-03-01T16:36:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was the 28th of February, and the adults have an addition of member to their legion! This person is none other than Soewandi, my coolio cousin. Well, the celebrations start from Friday night. He booked a chellet at Aloha Changi. 2 storey terrace units, 2 of them! So the numbers are high! So was the atmosphere. Lot's to drink, eat, etc.

Went over at night, after my tuition, but had trouble finding the location. Darn that first cabbie. Still got the cheeks to say he had been driving for 32 years! Brought me to aloha loyang instead! Screwed... So in the end, i gotta cab to changi. Thank god it ain't that far. Total spent on cab fare: S$27. Felt the pinch...

When i reached the night has just started. There are some groups that reached earlier. There are more streaming in. Soe's social circle is sure big. From Malaysia (dancers), east to west... Good thing i hanged out with soe often, knew some of them... Night is still young. More is to unveil.

Got Soe drunk. made a joke of the birthday boy. Real laugh out loud! Erm, spare him by not describing here. It's an open net! Well, i got the videos though, so i think i just gonna bur him a disc. I too got myself drunk in the end. But not dead drunk. Still kept my thoughts awake, david on the other hand totally fell dead, not really, spurting out mushy, touching words, and yeah, some thorns... Made me even value this tie between us even more. Lovely...

Slept at 4, forget how much i drank, woke up at 8. But the party didn't stop after i slept. Then i think i was awaken by a kick at dawn. Someone actually dislocated his shoulder. Err, how, it's comical. Some "boys" actually is daring enough to jump from a list, above the main door frame. So, it's like a one storey jump. I don't know... drank too much or something... Joke... Hahahahaha... When i woke up he's already back from hospital, with a cast! Cool...

Got to know more people. Great fun, and great celebration. Happy birthday Soewandi!
Big love mann!

Saturday morning when i reach toh tuck road on the cab, i was fine. Then i walked in my condo, went under the sun, then i feel the alcohol effect again. Hurried for a shower, then i collapse on the bed. Roughly slept for 2 hours, then it was 12. Time to wake up, i got a date with sweetheart! Dragged my heavy body up, changed, and styled my hair and meddled some stuff at home, since mama arrives at night. Took my books, off i go. Went over to imm for lunch, planned to study at the library. Ate fish and co, then hunted for jellies that she craves. Err...

Look sinful isn't it! A day for seafood! Yummie!

Do i look tired?

It rained! So we cabbed over to JE library, despite it's quite near. Then, mugged on chem spa. David came over, we're fetching my mum. So yeah... Ate at Popeye's for dinner. Love their chicken breast strips. Roamed about at T3, and arrives at the T2 arrival hall in time! Crashed the rain. Argh... Road visibility is really low. Kind of worrie, further more my cabbie's throtle control is bad. Luckily it's a merc cab. Should be better off if anything happen. Haha. Sent grandma back to aunty's place first. Meanwhile, soe and david cabbed to my home, with our laguagge. Uncle sent me and mama home! yay... end of the day. Tired. Missed KX training again! Sorry! Promise to make it next week! ;)

When days feel like years.

2009-02-23T23:12:00.002+08:00

Busy! All i can say I'm quite busy. Trying to keep up with school work, improving my stamina and skill! Well, ran more nowadays, so sort of increase my endurance and speed. Which is a thumbs up. I heard from people that i improved! Well i hope i will be consistent! All the way to the 'A' Div! Roar!!!

I am more willing to open my notes and lift up my pen now! Well, i dunno what's the factor, which is another thumbs up. I managed to keep my standard amidst the busy lifestyle.

Bad... I still cannot wake up early, so that i will increase the possibility of reaching school early by bus. Yawns! i'm sleepy!

Anyway, i read two article that tempted me to blog about, one on developing local sport talents, the other one about Indonesian complaining despite being emphasised by USA congress... -..-|||

to be continued

Cinta!

2009-02-15T23:21:00.000+08:00

14th February is a special day! well, as i mentioned previously, it's the day for couples! It's something worth cheering for right? Different couples have different way of celebrating. Flowers in hand, balloons, brand new blings blings etc. These are visible everywhere on the street. Of course, i can't exactly lose out. Haha!

Woke up slightly late. As usual, it's the only day for me with no worries of sleeping late. Scheduled to meet YH, 1400 hours @ Bugis. Dilly dallied at home, ate, snoozed, watch tv, showered. and off i go. Took cab down, slacked too long, thought of training at first, save some moolah. Yh is late, nevermind, walked around and browsed. Got some stuff in mind to buy. Shortly, baby arrived! Yay! Walked around, neo prints. As usual the pics look quite bad the first time. Never once we can make it right the first time. So took twice. Fun though...

Planned for movie, but can't. Yeap, she gotta go at 4. Back to he mummy :| It's okay ;) what is most important is spending quality time. Laughed, smiled, XOXOs... Ate some la mian, thought the restaurant do sell porridge. But nvm, food is good though.

Ironically, a day of sweetness will have a few hours of sweat, knocks and shoutings. KX training was still on. Yeah, really regardless of season, rain or shine! hahaha... Hardworking boys. Attendance was "so so..." quality was okay. Dade treated us to dinner though...

Valentine's eve in school

2009-02-13T11:48:00.002+08:00

Hello... yes i'm in school. .i am in physics class now. F4-12, the router is behind me. Wi-fi signal is good! I woke up late today, took cab myself, with a load of chocolates in my bag. The day started with a lecture. boring... Ger gave me chocolates from Muji.

School ends at 3 later. sleppy. Tummy was quite uncomfortable. Went to release load just now. Anyway, pj celebrated val on tuesday. Bought a balloon for yh, she's happy with it.

Yesterday was thursday. Gawd. training clashes with Charlie Chan's class. I couldn't make it for tuesday class, so i left training earlier @ 730. wierd. My stamina dropped again! Reached home after tuition at about 10. Worn out.

Well. later... Got nothin much to talk about. Hungry!

Sit down!!!!

2009-02-10T23:39:00.002+08:00

Well, life is really busy, with everything piling up and in a mess, not giving me space to breathe. Even if i force myself to take a little break, the next week is even worse.

So far so good. My balling is showing improvements. Keep up the good work! Sports NAPHA is on the 21st. I desperately need to boost up my stamina. Run!!! I am gaining back confinece to jump. I feel good in the air again. But sometimes i tend to brace when i land. I am super afraid of jumping for rebound... Think i hurt my ankle too often. Thinking of the pain, i'm really so sick of it. It's like pain, yet sian, plus dissapointed etc. Maybe working on my balance is a good way to avoid that.

Haven't been progressing much academically. I still absorb concepts a little slow. Thinking about that, i need to perform in CA. If not the physical efforts i put in will be a waste, if i don't do well, i'm suspended from CCA, and that only matters if i am in the team! PJ overall is going up, wonder how are the other schools? We won't make it easy.

Valentine's coming! And tmr is the 11th again! First month since the opening of school. She and i are coping on. Life is going to get even busier when J1s start cracking. Omg! The new intakes are typical S'poreans. Imagine, the queue just to enter the lec hall, and way before the time, sometimes before the lecture inside ends. Gosh! Good yet bad. Means they are hardworking and keen to learn. Bad, they are too kiasu, looks ugly at times. Like kind of, not pioneers... And they disturb the lecture inside! Gosh!

Last Staurday KX training was cool. Great atmosphere, nice fastbreak, and ball movements. The 91s played better now, 92s still need to work harder! Yo!!!

Weiquan B'day. Get to his house before he wakes up. Still snoring, we disturb him. Splat him with whipped cream. The brownie Ger baked is Bitter! Better luck next time! Hahaha... got somehing special "For the Monkey's 18th"! Hahahaha.... Hope you like it wq!

So, Valentine's coming soon! And PJ celebrated it today. Got her a balloon, think it made her happy! Hahaha... Then training, coach surprisely came down. Teach us centre moves. Cool... So just practise! Hahaha... Celebration aren't that invlving for me this time. Don't know why. So we'll see how it goes.

Glad to have you baby!

So till here then! Sleeping. Ciaoz...

Dong dong dong chiang!

2009-02-01T18:59:00.002+08:00

Happy belated Chinese new year! Wish you a prosperous ahead :D

I went back to Jakarta to celebrate New Year. Went off on 23rd night and returned on Wed night! Yup! Missed a day of school! The trip was quite good, with celebrations highlights - fireworks! It's something that celebrating in Singapore is lacking.

On Saturday night, Soe, david, Targo (my cousins) and me went out in search for fireworks. For the first time in history my dad actually allowed us to release it ourself! Lol! Exciting experience. The blast that was made was superb! Surely granma enjoyed seeing the works of her grandsons! Hehe... A pity i took no pictures. But it was a blast! Spent less than 1mil rupiah for about 90 shots of fireworks.

The "lau yu sheng" was as usual. Food also tasted great. Had an enjoyable time there.

But my poor baby here is not well :( Gastric again! I guessed she didn't really ate much. She can't have a lot to eat, and can't eat a lot. Well, she surely slimmed down! Aww... Get well soon okay! After that i'll bring you on a food tour to make you plumper! hehe...

Celebration stretched till yesterday! The clique went visiting, a pity mama isn't back in Singapore. Hmm, they went over to karol's for dinner and stay over. I went over to Soe's place for dinner. Steamboat! Hehe... Gambling luck isn't really there lately. Lost a bit of cents! Haha...

Can't join the clique for stay over, mum and dad want me home! And my darling is waiting! hahaha... I haven't been feeling well since thursday. Giddy! So i didn't went school, suspected flu. Went to doctor for MC, and some medication. Night, i went to Dade's place! Well, his dogs are all so adorable. If only my retrievers can be brought over here. Lovely! Anyway the flu really set in today! Rarr... Feel like sleeping all day! Haix.

Bye!
Till then...

happie...

2009-01-18T12:53:00.004+08:00

Well, the day before yesterday was my 18th birthday! First of all, starting with all the SMS. :) Then came a fine weather. Everything started out well. Greetings came in and i am on the roll.

I had two cake this year! One prepared by Lovely, she went through lot's of trouble even though she's not well. I am really happy that she can be there to celebrate my birthday. :D Even though she's a bad keeping secrets from me, but i am blessed for the effort she put into. XOXO Also my classmates, the little fun i had wrestling. A pity it wasn't recorded. Hahaha...

Great surprise by Chromiums... From $2 to a wonderful Enzo! I am happy enough to see the little taxi, well, i am really showing my teeth when the latter came in. Weiquan, Tammie and Bernette came down to PJ! Good to see them. Had a cosy dinner at cafe cartel and went home!

Karol spotted me, gave me a fright as she pounced! Whew! She's with Christopher, this new guy she met. Holy...

Sat morning, went over FFMS for friendly with KX. Only 2 91s turned up, and well, i enjoyed that game. Able to gain back my confidence, and i notice i can pair with weiquan! :) Thanks for the reassuring passes and short convos.

Had lunch with the clique++ (darling, emily and wanxuan). A couple of us was late, but surely we had our stomach filled. Wonderful ambient (the line), and food is good. The sashimi is fresh :) Had no problem after eating. Shh... don't tell mama, she's anti raw food! Emily and Wanxuan left earlier, so the rest of us went town. Supposedly to hunt for my present! Hahaha... :P

Lovely can stay out a little later that day :) Thumbs up! Spent lots of time with her. And glad that she can click with the rest...

I would say this is my best birthday so far. No injuries, happy, and sweet. A pity it's short. Gifts are nice wonderful. Although there's one or two unhappy things. Unfinished assignment, and getting demoted to Beta band for H1 physics (2nd class from the top band). It really disheartened me, made me really feel that i'm so out of place. Help me! Can someone please spur my interest in science again! I'm losing out in this competition of 'A' levels...

Let's do a roll calling on the gifts i recieve!
Mum & Dad : iPod Classic +++
Yuhui: Self embroidered towel, a nice little potrait ++ All these done when she's not feeling well, that touched me. Appreciate it dear...
Clique: A gym bag. Decided after miles of walking, come to think about it, i really need it.
Cr: London Taxi & Enzo!
Emily and Xuann: Bball? I need it too!

So let's hope this year will be a good year for me. Especially my studies...

Thanks again all of you!
Big Love!

Birthday!!!

2009-01-15T23:26:00.002+08:00

Happy birthday to me! Well, actually i have been looking forward to this day! I'm 18!

First of all, school work is really driving me crazy. So i haven't been really online surfing. School work is stacked up man! I got a test, and two assignment to hand up tmr, in which i haven't touched. Well, anyway! It's going to be my birthday, so i'll just forget the unhappiness for a while.

My darling is not really in a good state of health. Well, her gastric is always troubling her. Aww :( Wish for her to get stronger.

Anyway, Happy Birthday to me!!!!! And those whose b'day fall on the same day as me, "ROCK ON"!

That's it for now... See ya...

School begins

2009-01-11T22:39:00.003+08:00

How fast the holiday past. Tomorrow i have to wake up at 530, drag myself into the toilet. Usually, on the first day of each term, i have this habit of wanting to look my best, smell my best, and be mentally prepared. I'll add extra touches to my hair, bathe with more soap, and arrange my thoughts.

Unlock the door, off i go! It's a special day, it's a new beginning.

But some stuff will be missing from what i expected and want to see. The scenario will be different. Patches of vacuum appeared. So what will be in place to cover the vacuum? Thoughts of a tough year ahead is never out of my sea of thoughts. But nonetheless, i don't give up, unless forced to. I'll walk as far, even scoring Cs for 'A' Levels. I tried, i fought. So there must be a way out, even with Cs. So transferring to another institution is another problem, which should be put away for now, unless the do kick me out. Lol...

O levels result is out tmr. Good luck to all Sec school graduates. :D

I am still considering where to celebrate my birthday, to host a barbecue, or to treat my dear friends dinner? It's my 18th birthday, so i guess, i should celebrate! Oh ya, anyway, the past few years that i celebrate, i always injure myself! (Sheez! i'm really disastrous to some extent!) So people, give me some advice okays?

Anyway, people, let's pray for grace, and that we'll be safe through this year.
The prayer - Celine Dion and Josh Groban.

See you around peeps...

New Year!!!

2009-01-02T00:11:00.001+08:00

Greetings... How have you walked through 2008? Busy? Exciting? Fulfilling? Every year of my life is quite different. With lots of different experiences. Fluctuating, sad to happy, boring to enjoyment. These elements were present in the year 2008. Joining a new school environment, new friends, then parting, keeping in contact, laughter to tears. Frustration to relief. Project work makes the world go lala... How have i changed or matured?

In this new year, i hope i can be more focused in my work. Work hard, and play hard... It's not the time to relax, but really to push myself. It's a time where my ability to balance time is put to test. It's time to set new goals, and review those that i haven't achieve.

New Year resolution:
1. Treat others better
2. Study Harder
3. Balance my time better
4. Make my presence positively felt on court!
5. Love my family even more!
6. Treat darling sweeter.
7. Make myself look better in front of teachers!
8. Be closer to friends!

That's all for now.

School is going to begin on the 12th! I still have undone homework, and i have yet to revise on my J1 work. I guess i forgotten them. Chionging soon! To think i have a review test at the beginning of school term! Gosh...

Spent new year's eve at Junyang's place. Overnight, miracle-ously, my parents allow me to stay over! Drank, player cards, just chilling out. And dota-ed. Slept little, was dead beat on new year day. And dad still dragged me out. All was present except for Clarinda.

Oh ya, i decide to buy myself a new iPod for birthday! Hahaha... pondering over the touch, or the classic?

Friendly later. Sleeepy...

See you around peeps :D

Back in Singapore. Welcome 2009!

2008-12-30T22:23:00.001+08:00

Christmas past, soon it's New year's eve. Since i came back, nothing really changed. Went back to training, and had a friendly with PJ. Well, my physique is down again. We won the friendly though. Against what team? I can't get it right though.

Singapore haven't really changed. It's more like my mindset changed a little though.

Next year really will not be the same. It's gonna be brief, and everything will keepon coming to me. Passing is a must, what about scoring the 'A's. Thoughts of joining a tertiary institution still pesters me. Sheez... I have till march to think about it though.

My Chinese Lunar Calendar birthday is on 27th! Well, did not celebrate much. Papa and mama planned to have a dinner with me. In the end we ate home, some left over from lunch. Never mind, i'll celebrate on the 16th Jan then. How should i celebrate it? Haha...

Ate Crystal Jade at Taka today. Well, dad got vouchers... So it's quite a good dinner... Followed dad, cause he want to "take a break", go around Singapore! Haha...

Tomorrow is New year's eve!!! Hahaha.... Merry Christmas (belated) & happy new year to all. I complete this entry late. Forgot what i wanted to blog about... :P

For one week i was away...

2008-12-28T23:27:00.005+08:00

For one week i was away, in Jakarta. Never blogged about it. The decision was sudden.

Previous posts about how health is important was inspired by my grandmother. The old lady is ill, and hospitalised. So do my decision to go back, to visit my old grandmother. I thought it would be easy, nothing much here i can't put down. I was still recovering from the injured ankle, and will be away from training for at least one to 2 weeks. I decided to have a short trip back. Yet, i left with a knot in my heart. Will my girl be fine alone here? My heart was heavy, even though i am happy there, i never failed to think about you.

We talked rather little. Few minutes at night and morning. Her health is really concerning me. If only i have the ability, i would have brought her to see a chinese physician. Western medication seems to be a temporary solution. TCM correct the roots of the problem, and some illness is curable by tcm, but not western medication. "Wonders of the natural herbs"

Back to granny. I went to visit her as soon as i reached home, and place my lagguage. Dark was her ward. She was ready to sleep. It took her a while to recognise me. Great, at least, her senile is not worrying. She was panting. i knew definitely, something is wrong with her respiratory. True enough, her lungs is affected, being to acidic. Must be medication. Too much of those!

Her face pale, yellowish white. And definitely, she shed lots of weight. Recalling the photo i took two years ago on her 80th birthday. She was so much stronger then. I was close to tears. She must be tired. I just grabbed her hand. Told her to sleep. Left for home. Sending 3rd uncle home. Cousin was on the wheel. Life is so fragile...

Dad's business is not at its prime anymore. To think that an office crew of 8 was reduced to 3. Signs of cost cutting, to reach maximum efficiency. Goods are harder to get them over the customs. Christmas goods are delayed! maybe they can't be sold this Christmas. Dad loses money and recieves nags and taunts from customers, traders loses their sales. The cycle keep going. If only i can do something to restart the engine. Study hard, Julius.

Driving legally! I want i want... It only take half million Rp. Shh...

This time, somehow i feel like a stranger in Jakarta. Somehow, it's not as welcoming anymore. People is busy, they got no time to spare for this adolescent young adult. My dogs aren't well cared for. I am starting to feel guilty, I shouldn't have took them in. David is mad with badminton. The food on the tables were not as much as previous trips. It made me feel insignificant, am i forgotten of that land?

Spent most of the time in the hospital. taking lunches bought from the street. Yes they taste great! I miss home. Those are the smell of home. But wormth is missing. I used to have lunches brought over by my aunties, grandma etc. Now all of them are absent. Even time spent with my dad is lesser now. I feel isolated all of a sudden. I want to find back that type of feeling i used to have. So carefree... But now, i have to fight, fight for the future, i must start to build the blocks.

I'm turning to a young adult soon. Very soon... And i am still unsettled about my future. And what i want to do. Which institution do i belong to? All this nonsensical question just popped up! Again! Through this experience, the horse turns wild... Yearning for freedom.

I told the sea outside my window, who watch over changes in my house, and changes in me through the 4 years i stayed at that house in Jakarta. I will be a more mature and steady person, ready to tackle the world, and climb the rope, the next time i am back, next year end.

Before i left, Granny stood up. Walked a little. With Soe and me supporting her. That should give me a little more assurance that i can leave Jakarta with lesser burden. However, other problems has yet to be rectified. Life there is still in tatters.

prayers

2008-12-13T16:33:00.002+08:00

Let's pray for everyone to stay healthy.

Today's Straits Times dedicated a few pages to "mercy death", in another word, euthanasia.

This debate has been stretched on, with a huge propotion of the world insisting that it shouldn't be legalised or even justifiable, be it religious, or moral reason.

Personally, i feel that euthanasia may be hard to accept. No one wants their close one to leave. Everyone wants to be blessed with good health so that they can witness changes, enjoy accompaniment. What happen if anyone is terminally ill, and time is about to be up?

Every tick of the clock become so precious. A person would do everything to buy time. To hear that loved one speak, to feel the warmth on the loved one's hand. On the side of the patient. Some people say, to die, is a scary feeling, awful thought. It's like plunging into a world of never ending darkness. To be in absolute solitude, apart from the laughter of the loved ones. I guess, it'll be hard on both parties.

But can you bear to see your acquaintance to suffer in pain? Or would you rather allow him leave without pain, but you, tearing, missing him/her. It's a human's thought. I ask myself, which one do you think is better, euthanasia, or to allow him to live on, suffering? I can't decide...

In the end, i realise how important is health. So, live well, healthily, and pray for the sick ones.

Get well soon...

the bullish period.

2008-12-13T00:22:00.002+08:00

It's like the stock market. It was climbing rather calmly, then plunge it goes. Calamity. When calamity strikes, it usually has a friend tagging along. Looking into my 17 years of life, and after asking around, maybe i can be awarded a plague. Being so injury prone. I can vividly remember how many times have i injured myself. How many visits to the shin sheh, and that's why i can recommend good sin sheh.

This ankle of mine, should have experienced at least 4 injuries. One of them is a fracture that took months to recover. Now, my good old shin sheh tells me to rest for a month. I did not want to abide, 1 month, no way. I would be "outsourced". Bball is competitive, it's a team sport, but only a limited number of player can be in a team. In another word, it's the game for the fittest. Only the fittest stay. One trial through, but more difficult ones coming. Total PJ training i missed, one week worth, and more to come, Kaixuan's, i guess 2 more, including this coming one.

Already, changes are seen, news of the coming of Tsubas (is that how you spell), a super center from New Town i would say, an a nice character. I am no match for that awesome guy. One more place gone. With me nursing this leg, it's not so soon i'll make a come back or improve. Time is ticking away, so do my chance. Odds is high now. Just hope i'll be in form when i'm back from my long break.

Is it hospitalisation period? I thought all was well, i can use my time resting my leg wisely, and relax my brain, gearing up for next year. But grief news of granny reached my ear. It should be unexpected. Granny was hospialised, but why no one breathed a word to me? Darn, i am worried. Discharged yesterday, but the latest news, she is in again. Things aren't turning better. Wan Xuan is also hospitalised. She was fine a few days ago... She was...

WREAKED!!!!

2008-12-09T00:30:00.003+08:00

Fine. Everything i do, every single thing i do! Nothing is right in dad's mind. Well, i'm grounded tmr! Read this carefully. I AM GROUNDED.

Why just can't my family be easy going. Everything must be taken so seriously. I just sprained my ankle, minor. Yet they treat me as if it's a break! C'mon... I seriously think they are over protective of me. I need more space, my easy going me... I feel like my wings are being clipped... Whats so ever!

I don't mean to break promises.

I never in my mind thought of rebelling.

I'm stuck in between... Again.

I'm not feeling great inside now.

Sorry people.... Sorry...

Recovery

2008-12-08T23:20:00.002+08:00

Today is a cold day, so is my mind... Well, woke up, ate porridge, then the hussle starts. Something is missing in my morning routine, the voice that wake me up.

Had a long chat with daddy. Got to know he is quite interested in getting me a nice ride (car)! Well, i don't expect much actually. I don't mind driving round mum's MPV, it's good enough though, just need a little tune up, and a little add on on the suspension to reduce the body roll. Currently, the car is in a bad state now, when it's mine, it'll be spick and span!

My ankle hurts lesser now. Just that it's still quite week, i still dare not use too much of my right ankle. Haix... Will my injury proness tarnish or hinder my fighting to a placing in the school team next year? Hope my holidays go well. I want to be in the team, i want to. At least, i can tell my son, "dad was once in the team!" I have dedicated this holiday. Hope it's sufficient.

Kaixuan friendly is tomorrow. OFS. Still no news of And 1 cup. Think about it, i need that experience to push myself up another level, prepareing for the inter school...

Lately my brain keeps on thinking bout business concepts. Something must have triggered my entreprenual brain. I guess, i'm really moving onto entrepreneurship in the Us, but getting a place in NTU or SMU is not easy, it will take all i can give in the A levels. Thinking about it already gives me the cold feet, and now, the stress is mounting on... I really don't want to dissapoint mum and dad. I really need to be successful in life...

Bored...

2008-12-01T23:13:00.002+08:00

Rarr... My leg is bandaged! It poses such inconvinience to me! I need to put plastic bag over it, making sure it's not wet! It's such a torture! Zzz. Watched the movie Water Horse on DVD, slept a little, and psped.

Did a couple of crunches and leg raise. And i tried hopping! Still hurting though... Pfft...

Weiquan asked me out for pool in the evening. I wished to go, but i think i can't. I can't walk normally unless i grit my teeth. And control is not fully back yet. Better play safe, even though the recovery is quite fast at this current rate, so i stayed home and rot my day off.

I don't realise staying home all day gives you headache. Maybe the air outside is cleaner. Haha... Well, hope i can return to court by saturday, provided nothing goes wrong.

Till then!!!

Gruelling to melodies to falling down....

2008-11-30T23:18:00.002+08:00

Along with the ending of the ISIBL,came the start of the holiday training. Training set to three a week! And numbers of team mates is currently less that 10. I can say, the trainings so far has been more intensive than all the other trainings i had in PJC! Lots of runnings (suicides, fastbreaks), shootings (free throws, etc.), dribbling, and also practising plays! Yup! But morale fine. Weather was a little unpredictable. Haha...

Once coach brought some Nike samples! I got 2 shorts from him! Quite a bargain, got it below $20! kind of cool! hehehe... The offer came in time, i need to increase my inventory of shorts. I'm still looking forward to a few more addition.

Training numbers are down to below 10 as some of them are overseas. Huihan went to China for school trip, Ming Soon to Hong Kong and the others i forget! One day before Huihan flew off, i was at Yuhui's place for a swim! Emily, WanXuan and her beloved Mark was there too. Went for a swim, and well, i notice i need to control my breath better! Haha... Dade then wanna throw a farewell party for Huihan. After asking all the 91s, none turned up :( sadded!!! Yi Xin xdz came, along with Pete and Sherwin ddx. Of course our Dade came! Hahaha... I was amazed at Dade's singing. Hmm, i descibe his voice as thick and stable. Good on the ears! On a couple occassion i thought it was the original singer who's singing. Well so do the rest of the dades! The are do have a thing in Singing. Haha! Oh huihan, the last time i K'ed with him was sec 3 or 4. Slipped my mind on that! Well, he improved! Rapping is his forte! Yixin was rather shy of the mic! haha... A pity i have to leave early :( Mum don't allow me home late that day, i left unwillingly. My tummy was grumbling, so i bought a cheeseburger and cabbed home!

I went shoe hunting on friday. My shoes are close to a state of devastation. Went town with lovely. Rather late! Went to PS as she wants to buy smtfor scrapboking. Sat down in Thai Express for lunch. Walked around and bought "round round". Haha... Mysterious thingy :P

Proceeded to town, try to get a shoe, first to Cine. rubbed shoulder with an unexpected soul, and another 10 whom i know. Haha... Small world! Well! Cut short the story! Cause i'm pissed off with the shoe stores in Singapore! It's so difficult to get a shoe that fits me! Gosh! I'm only a UK 12! PFFFTTT. Heerens nope, Paragon nope, Ngee Ann NOPE! And worse! Ngee Ann adidas don't carry bball shoes! !@#$%^&*... Imagine walking around in vain! Lovely got to go off after buying Jap pancakes for mummy. Sent her off in a cab :( Waste of time! I could have just have some good time with her instead of shoe hunting! Alone, devastated, i decided to go down to harbourfront. Well, luckily they didn't dissapoint me. I wanted to get a high cut model this time. I find it neccessary now.

I got three to choose from, Pro Model, TS Commander, TS creator. Pro model's out! The commander is better looking, and lighter. It gives much more cushioning and centre support. The creator is much more for forwards. It looked rather unstable, but i was proven wrong. It gives you control when you are on your tips trying to change direction. I chose the Commander, i think it's better suited to my post! Haha... Yup! Hope i live up to it's name! Command the court!

Kx training, started of quite sunny. I don't really like it. Rarr... I decided to wear my old low cut TS pro model, i don't wanna run 400s in new high cuts. Wrong choice. I sprained my ankle and was forced to the sidelines! Shees! It hurts. Home, iced, slept. This morning my ankle is so stiff! Argh... Walked like a duck. Waited till noon and then go to paya lebar. There's this Shin Sheh which is quite good. Yup! It's just another injury! Zzzz.... So sick of them. I should just have worn my new shoe, i could be spared... Now i will be out of court for a week. No rush, my Achilles heel, i want it to fully recover. Well, take it as a break, a painful break...

If anyone is going to make a bibliography on me. it will be like :

Name: Julius Tjong
D.O.B: 16/1/____
Nationality: Indonesian
bla bla bla

Remarks: _______________________ Injury prone, face, and limbs...

-..-lll

~end~

Ciaoz...

Zoo

2008-11-27T23:08:00.002+08:00

I think it's my second visit to the zoo this time! I woke up quite tired! Late meeting Emily, Hiroki (erm... fishy?) and of course my sweetheart. Let me re-insist, i love animals but not insects!

Have i told you about what i felt about the zoo? Well, let me just say it once more, if i said it before. Zoo, even though it's trying to spread a message of conservation, but it is not at all natural. Yes, to some extent it may be good, home to those rescued stranded little animals whose parents got killed by what ever reason. But look, the captivity compound, even though designed to resemble their natural habitat, THEY ARE STILL NOT AT HOME! Polarbear compound, a simple pool, airconditioned, no snow, no ice to break, no seals to hunt. no use of their nose to trace the smell of fat little seals. See! It's still not nature!

The best way is, just to leave them out there! Let them be, but watch over them! Protect them! Remove harm! Can't you be convinced that we are a part of this eco system! And that we are the only one who have the intelligent which is also power to protect this earth!

Err, sorry, my ego just set in...

Nvm about that, well, i had an enjoyable day in the zoo!!! All smiles! Happy! Hehe... That's all, had an enjoyable day in the zoo!!! even though i was aching everywhere!

But cabs ruined my day! Argh! I wanted to cab down to heerens to get Siew's haviannas, then cab over to her place! Sheezz, waiting for one is so long, and calling is also hopeless. And guess what! There's a traffic jam in the Zoo car park! OMG!!!! Can drivers who don't know how to navigate in tight circumstances, just don't drive! one car in a wrong spot, blocked the whole traffic! And it rained real heavy! And i wasn't dry... So yeah!

Proceed straight to Siew's house! hehe... Munched a little, then off to clari's. Joked, laughed, munched again! Omg! I was munching all day long! Haix... Go home, cus the polys need to go school the next day! Haha... Funny eh, in the past, it was the other way! JCs holiday!!! Roar!

Crash out...

2008-11-27T22:16:00.002+08:00

First in the league tables, last in the final playoffs.

This is not the ending i wanted. I wanted the first gold medal of my life! A shameful but true fact. My collection of medals have been all silver and bronze! We were so close to it. haix...

Maybe what papa said is true, we got a little complacent in the league. Complacency is the key to failure in all aspect. Yes! We want the medal, but we thought it would be easy, thus we relaxed! Do we want the medal as much as the other team? First, it's their league. We are actually an outsider. Winning this or losing it doesn't really matter. But think about it. It does matter to them.

On this last match, morale was high, for the ISS. We, yes, high, but not enough. As soon as the game started, they played with much more fire than us. Their inferno extinguished out ember...

It was only at the second half we contolled the game, but only for a few minutes.
One sentence, i guessed we already lost, mentally we were unprepared. Forget about all the preparation, if you have a will, nothing is impossible. What others do, you must do! And what others don't, you must! We did not abide this... Lost... ISS got th deserved medal. We got none... I was quite dissapointed though. Proceed to KX training, i want to change, for real! Be more agressive. I supposse in the end, physical abilities still restricts me...

Recalling the semi finals, against UWC, we lost to them the first game of the league. Again... we lost. We fought hard, game was close. Their determination earned them OT. It was a game to see who got the final edge. They prove to be more decisive, and steady. Right on the achilles heels, what we truly lack. They triumph. Team, let's work hard. We got lots more to experience and learn. Aim high on the inter-school together yeah! Hope i'll be a part who fights for the spot. :)

Wielding the ball

2008-11-22T13:26:00.002+08:00

We lost to UWC in the semi, now it's time to redeem the minimal prize pioneers deserved. Today PJ is going against ISS, not a alien school. We face them before and we won, yet, we still cannot let our guard down. Let's hope for the best :)

The PJ squad for the holiday was cut down to 12. Those that the coach felt is useful, stays to train. I am in that 12 though. 6 was to stand down, till school re opens. I guess, this holiday training period is going to get high and low. Still looking forward to the overseas trip, do the school have a budget for that? Hehe...

I think my plans to go back Jakarta will be pushed off till later notice. Mum, never talk about it, not like the past few years. I would get my ass off Singapore as soon as the school closes. I miss Jakarta a little. And my plans for a driving license! How i yearn to be able to drive legally! Not, shunning away when i get close to a cop. Yeah, my passion to cars is really really true.

After the match i'm going for KX training. Hmm, will i be played later? We'll see how it goes. Well, time to go... Can anyone tell me how to bus to UWC? i'm sick of cabbing.

Monetary Crisis

2008-11-18T23:51:00.003+08:00

I'm back penning my thoughts here! Haven't been thinking much, and i can't get the right mood to do so. Not that i have no feel, cause thoughts about every little things streamed in my mind. Too much till i'm lazy to blog about it.

Holidays ever since PW comes to a closure, hasn't been filled with anything. Only occassionally basketball, and going out here and there. Here is something i don't get it, when i'm busy, everything is so crammed up that there's no breathing space. Yet, when you're free, things don't spread up evenly, and cram on weekends. Leaving me rotting on weekdays. Hasn't been touching books. I don't know how to plan my holidays!

PJ lost to UWC in ISIBL semi finals. Close game! We could have grabbed the game, and go for top two placing. I was rather disheartened, we was so close to winning... i thought we'll be taking home at least a silver. Never mind about that, this season is coming to an end, time to set eye on the A div inter-school. It's a much more coveted throne to fight for, but i won't be easier than this...

Now, i'm just spending money, at a rather fast rate. World economic is facing a downturn now, and the effects is starting to be felt. I have experienced the same thing in the past, but the effect was not felt much as i was still a little boy. Well, i wonder how it will affect me this time.

Already companies start to lay off employees to brace for the coming crisis. Well, i think this one, can help me see econs in a better point of view.

Beautiful...

2008-10-31T22:02:00.005+08:00

We are gifted with sight so that we can guide ourself to the path with light, and also to see the beauty of this world. They are not meant to pass a meaning of offense. Certainly a piece of artwork must be appreciated, not the way you are treating it now. If you happen to look into my eyes, i'll show you wings, and the sky, cause i am a guardian of this artpiece... Enough of halloween, no more of such piercing eyes that can left people in a fright.

Op!!! I'm practising my speech!!! I'm getting better now! hehe... I think the group will do just fine on monday. Just put in a little more effort practising and revising the content. Yeah... I hope i get an A for it. Well, our group, persuasive, and got the flow! And so far, when we show our slights to friends, all of them commented that it's cool. Well, i hope we get the marks we want. So far my intelligent Yuhui is the best speaker among all of us. Yup! I got to say, she got the talent in presenting herself. Otherwise how am i so hooked onto her! hehe... Well well, she's good, calm, persuasive, convincing, and just have the aura to attract the attention towards her. Yes, she is enthusiastic in the presentation, one word! Very professional! Do keep up the good work girl ;)

Against ISS tomorrow. 3 p.m @ Salvation army. ( reach by 2 ) Hope we can triumph tomorrow. :D

And please remind me to buy laser pointer! Oh, or is it bought already? Hmm, i think i need another pair of bball shoes. Hehe... Anyway, the new adidas shoe i bought, people said it's too colourful for me! lol... And it's very fitting, stupid boy. shouldn't buy. But what to do. maybe i'll get used to it. haha...

Party at pq's tmr, gonna be late a little. Hehe. As usual, Julius is never early. :O

Today, went over to Jurong Library, booked the discussion room, and rehearsed with team. Well, we are doing better. Got scolded, cus we ate inside and were a bit too noisy. Sad, gotta rush off for training just to find that coach is not gonna come today. Argh, dissapointment. Fixed the net on the left court, and training was rather short today, didn't do much. Ate with the team, chatted and laughed. Guys are quite bitchy at times too! Cabbed home, as usual, with ben! And tada... Now, i'm here!!!!

Well, i'm missing someone now :P Nvm, hehe, shall sleep after i'm done with pw. Got to wake up early tmr. :)

Anyway, happy halloween :)
I never ever go around asking for sweets, and yet, every year here, in Highgate, i always get ppl knocking on my door for sweets! Not fair, maybe next year i should try it too. Anyone interested?

Nights...

Peak period

2008-10-31T00:00:00.002+08:00

Busy busy busy!!! Days come and go, it feel like it's just a while ago since the end of promotional.

Chains of matches, some good some bad, i just got a feel of bball again, and i'm on the roll again. Performance was rather satisfying compared to last year and earlier this year, just need to strengthen my physique and fitness, of course my consistency. I found my role, my role or what i choose to be, i want to be a rebounder, someone who finishes unfinished attacks :D Way to go... Gambatte!!!

PW PW! it's coming to an end! One year of agony, sweat and frustration, it will all be ended on monday! We saw the first fruit, our precious WR. It look rather impressive. I've been busy with op now! Gosh! My "ERs, ARs, UMMs" They are all coming back! Oh no, i need to really work hard this week end. A A A ! Jia you!!!

Training tomorrow in school, and match on saturday! ISIBL fixture against ISS! KX lost to them in asia pac, i got injured too. So let's see how do PJ fare then! ;)

Asia pac ended, was the result good enough? I am not sure. Hasn't seen the medal yet, with ben bah. Well, let's add on to my collection of medals. Honestly, comparing to some other peaople, the prizes i collect in my school life is very little. So i think let's get it while i can now :)

Promos result is coming out soon. The exam results showed that my case is a rather shaky one. so let's hope for the best this coming wednesday. Pray for me that i promote...

gtg, blog again tmr.

Nights...

Balancing the scale

2008-10-11T10:46:00.002+08:00

Well, it was sometime ago that my dad reached Singapore, and i haven't got the time to accompany him. He's going back to Jakarta tomorrow, his holidays are over :( Mine has not started though.

Woke up, and dad told me to accompany him to see an art exhibition. Gasp, i have made appointment, and i can't make up excuses to turn him down. WR is done. Handed up, there's nothing much left.

I planned to go for a movie in the noon, then proceed to training. Both three are so dear to me, what should i do? But true enough, i haven't really spent some quality time with dad.

Yesterday night we went for a dinner. Ate seafood! :) Ordered King Alaskan Crab. bamboo clams, fish and fried tofu. Mum said that dad had wanted to eat the crab since a week ago. :O Gosh, i haven't been really talking to dad, or even noticing what he wants.

So i told this morning, that i want to play bball. I don't want to say it's training, cause i'll get even more dressing down. :( Mum immediately say "basketball aside, this week you already had enough. go with dad!"

...

I come to realise my parents limit my touch to basketball, this week, already monday, tuesday, and thursday. Argh...

Not a threat

2008-10-09T23:47:00.003+08:00

Today is the last day i am going to crack my head for WR. Then it's all up to the examiners. Our holy report really killed us. Gosh! Sickening. And school schedule is so tight! I'm already missing a lot of things. :( trainings, matches, PW, school ending late... goes on and on...

Well, WR is almost over,my job is to burn the disc! :) haven't have a good night sleep for quite sometime. i'm worn out.

Today's match against ITE was rather fulfilling? They are not too weak, have a good center, rather friendly, unexpected from such origins. They look rather disciplined. Maybe that's the diff of having proper trainings to streetball.

Get to play much more, but i wasn't on form? Couldn't contribute much to the team again.

Did a defensive mistake, should have moved to cover the spot earlier. Haix... My rebounds seriously need to be honed. Looking forward for sat, the 11th!

It's a day of something!

I want to train. Train train to make myself tougher, and more significant. Well, i once said, that recognition is to be earned. Yet to earn recognition, the ability have to be there, for now, my standard is not just there yet. Yeah, having two sides of training helps, means more knowledge absorbed. And thus i can switch to different play style. Hehe...

Oops. Gtg, back to the final editing of the wr and then burn it to the cd!
bye!!!

The General and the soldiers

2008-10-08T20:05:00.002+08:00

Hey! Good evening my dear readers. Another disappointment just happened! As you know, the wr deadline is tomorrow! And my group of six have been racking our head! One word! Sickening! We have been waiting for more than 5 hours in school, for one busy man. And when it was about our turn, another group grabbed him away from us, well, i suppose they're in a more peril state than ours.

Talking about or wr, i am quite astonished. 60+ pages! Painstakingly pieced together, by six souls. I believed we have invested quite a huge amount of effort in this project. If i don't get a good grade for this, i'm just gonna go crazy!

Yesterday was interesting, rather than saddening. School was rather as usual. Excecpt for an exciting game at the end of the day. ISIBL first game for PJ!

The first half went rather well,leading 13 to 10 at the end of 2nd quarter. Good start! Morale was all high.

Second half was where we went tumbling down. Plummeting without control. The final result was 29 to 40.

The UWC is not impossible to beat though, the team said that they let the game slipped past, we could have grabbed it.

I was busy bench warming! Hahaha... It's okay, you can't expect much since it's my first time representing my school in an official league. It gave me the time to reflect though. I wonder, sometimes while sitting on the bench, you got lot's of thoughts, you know what is wrong, and how to correct. In your mind, you imagine yourself playing, the moves, the contact.

Yet, when you go into the court, everything you thought of disappears. You know you have the ability, you know the moves. Why didn't you do it? Pressure? Then all the blunders set in. :(

Well well, there's a friendly coming up on thursday. Against ITE West Dover again. Played them before, but this time we got the home advantage :D It's a crushing time!

At the meantime, let's get back to WR yeah? Blog again soon :)

Weekend

2008-10-05T10:21:00.003+08:00

3 days to written report deadline, and 2 to I&R deadline. Promos was first over, and yet we still cannot know the result till a later date. I wonder how did i do. There's nothing much to speculate about. Life's becoming a routine. I hope it will change soon.

I have yet to visit a cinema! Oh my! Last Saturday Mum wants me to accompany her to PS. Thinking while waiting for dad, facial, we should catch a movie. I realised i totally lost touch of the cinema. I don't know what movies are on! And felt like an idiot. Mum asked me what those movie is about, but i'm unable to describe to her! Never mind, we decide not to watch in the end. Hehe...

Trainings begun! Thursday, first PJ training. Despite having flu, i trained. Trained transitions, Man! Centres have to run non stop! Get rebound, open ball, run 2nd trailer route, ask for ball, and go for basket. Ragh... Tiring. It's better for PF though, hehe... Flu worsen the next day! Tsk tsk! Bad... Took bball concept shot on Friday. Haha... Fun, lot's of "dunking". I guess i'm gonna be scolded by Mrs Loh! We aren't allowed to pull the rims in school! I hurt my little pinkie quite badly though, outmuscled by Ming Soon. It's swelling now.

Miss KX training yesterday! Went down to HV and PWed there... Zzz. Quite unfruitful though. Ate Thai Express. Wee... Cabbed down to CCAB at 5! Was lucky to get a merc cab! :D

There are 2 new addition, hahaha... Familiar faces. I didn't train though, so did Jun Wen. Two sick leaves! Argh... Thanks to my pinkie. Cannot even clap my hand properly. Well, i think today, is another day of bowling. I hope it'll be fruitful.

ISIBL- Tuesday against _______ (sry peep, i forget)
Hehehehehe....

Can't wait for the days that i can just wake up at 10 every day. huarrrhh....

Gamble

2008-09-25T23:47:00.002+08:00

Promos is almost over! just one paper away! Yipee!!!

I was just catching hold of what is taught now. If only the promos can be one week later, i would have been better prepared. After this, back to PW for school schedule again.

Lot's of struggle, and frustration. Time is indeed the most worthy opponent in life. I've learnt my lesson now. If only i prepared earlier. This stage would have a shallow hurdle. Now it's over, again, i have to say what's done is done, now it's up to the markers to decide. Miracles can't happen...

Back to training :) Haven't been touching balls lately, wonder how bad have i became. ISIBL ranking day, 3 wins, 0 credits to Noble. :( Recognition must be fought for. It may be tough, but i don't want to be excluded. Kaixuan trainings is about to re start. Time for reconditioning, better start soon... I don't wanna suffer.

Hmm, i'm a more contented person now. It only takes one thing to fill my day up. <3

Well, i think it's time to take a short break. Compose myself up, and have a go, end this year with a bang :)

With love,
Your's truly

Class photos.

2008-09-24T23:53:00.004+08:00

Hello people!
The long awaited class photo is out for order! (:
Reminder! : Do Check your names at the bottom of the formal shots. In case of any errors please inform me with the edited error. (:
Place your order with me by sms-ing me your orders.** latest by 2nd October 2008.
The pricing of the photos are indicated below every photo. :p

Formal Sample 1: 5R ( $3) , 8R ($6)

Formal Sample 2: 5R ( $3) , 8R ( $6)

Informal Sample : 5R ($3) , 8R ($6)

Special Candid: 5R ($3) , 8R ( $6)

Cheers! & Thanks. :D

Promotional

2008-09-05T22:57:00.002+08:00

Promos exam is a headache. It's even more worrying than o levels but less urgent than it. Yet, the fear of the worst outcome is far more distinct, not not being posted to a good school of choice, but it's a little of discrimination and loss of pride, and of course, wasting of time.

I've haven't really blogged for a while. Apologies to my faithful reader.

Due to some laziness
And time constrains
Regarding school and some other stuffs which drives me mad
Leading me to always postpone my
Intentions to blog
Not that i forget about this blog
Good stuffs are coming...

Initially i wanted to blog about olympics

Later, olympics come to a close. Too late.
Other than that, an epidemic almost break out.
Very frustrated over lot's of stuff during that period.
Endless workload, and emotionally tiring.

Yet there is light shining for me
Offering comfort and a listening ears
Under no conditions, she gives and cares.

Back to topic :)

Honestly i got to say, the Olympics in China is just magnificent. Purely gorgeously done. I can say, that they just created history... Superb opening, superior standards. Unfortunately, there's negative remarks on it. Just like any other. China, a communist state, industrialising power, commerce hot topic, fogging the air. Whatever it is, it's modernisation.

For PW students doing modernisation, you may want to listen. It's an impact of modernisation that politics have been pulled into the picture of sports! Countries being boycotted from olympics, because of human rights violations that a nation cannot host a game, using sport to gain world wide recognition, a showcase of dominance etc. Have the sporting spirit in the past been shadowed, or plainly disappeared? In my opinion, they are a little of both. Gold, silver or bronze. They are all champions. But yet, controversies aroused.

A bit of Gp... Sleepy... I think i better rest now... next time then.

Tenors

2008-08-14T23:30:00.002+08:00

Dear 10ers,

Counting with fingers, it's about 6 months since we were classed as one. To be honest, i was a little lost, cause i got no one i'm really close with in the class. To my dismay, our form teacher at that time, Ms. Chung did not did an excellent job to break the ice. And not much initiative from our side either. Not only that, i realized that a lot of cliques had been formed. Doesn't really matter anyway.

I took sometime to find a spot for myself, and thank you for supporting me to be one of the class managers. Let me go straight to the point. Don't you people think in fact our teachers do not really have an angelic impression on us as a whole? Or maybe to some of us? Well, i really hate it when teachers pick on us.

The problem isn't really on us! For example, today, during gp class just because we are a little silent we are said to be afraid of that teacher? C'mon, is our behaviour really that bad? I notice something in my days in PJ. I notice that teachers in JC level don't really have tolerance to noises. At least that's the case for PJ...

I feel, it's just that, our people is a little fun lovin. Somewhat similar to my secondary school class. :) Even though, the class isn't really united, having lots of rojak cliques, we still turn out fine. Against odds, we went from the "lazy & under-performing" class, to the top of the table. Favourites in fact.

I really see lots of talents in all of you, some inner beast that can really roar. The National Day performances was awesome. I'm really proud! "Hey! That's my classmate there!" I am not suggesting any changes, i don't want to... Be yourself, everyone's special. But i hope we can keep this in our heart, we're a class. Let's all aim to prove the teachers opinion wrong? We are not problematic and weak...

I also want to wish all of you a good luck for promos, and start studying soon!!! Haha...

Big love

Meet the parents

2008-07-28T22:51:00.002+08:00

Well, meet the parents session! I'm really worried that i'll have negative comment!

Sigh, basically, all they say, "i'm a bright boy, He's just being to relaxed ( lazy )! He'll be fine if he work hard"

Some catchy words, "trustworthy" & " responsible". First time i hear them though, happy :)

It's very ironic! It's really meet the parents day! haha... Coincidental, or destined?

Friendly, KX vs Payalebar. Lost...
No physical strength, stamina nor the speed to follow. Can only lead or level in the first quarter. Lot's of things to work for!

Promo is just 2 months away? Haha... Mug mug!!! I want to be the top cream! Wheee...

I got the urge to take up piano classes again! Now, for real. I want to be able to play and sing! Hahahaha... Silly...

My obseesion for cars is still undying! :) I really want one....

Officially using the HTC touch diamond! Lol... Manage to get it quite cheaply! :) Complicated, need longer time to adapt! But's it's really a very nice choice!

Till then peeps!

Re-Boot

2008-07-22T21:58:00.002+08:00

Hmm, time to update! or else, i may even lose my loyal reader. Guess, you guys know about my pathetic results. Just scraping through, almost, my parents needing to go and have a tea with the scary VP!

Another problem rise! I interest in chemistry! Gosh, i can't follow up at all! This is serious! JC subjects are 2 years course! Tsk tsk... 50 days to promos exam? can i meet the promotion criteria?

Basketball is haveing a 6 weeks gym programme!!! Haha... It's quite tough actually! Hmm, i need training gloves! My hand's taking the toll! But somehow, it seems that stock is little in Singapore! So i'm thinking of getting them online! But, it'll come to about the same price, but quality should be better! it's made of leather! Yup! Buying in bulk means the sharing of handlig costs!!! Haha... Orders anyone?

Let's try to blog more about my views on current affairs! I think it will help improve my gp!

I wonder how's the clique is doing? Karol got depressed lately, i hope she's fine now... Miss them! haha... Gtg!!!

haven't been touching bball lately! Miss 2 trainings. Haix... Dad's extremely against me playing ball... Whatever... Time management now is important! I've been staying in school quite a lot lately! Lost touch of my shooting again. Think about it, the ISBL is round the corner right? Wee....

S-S-U-U-E-D

2008-07-10T21:39:00.003+08:00

Sued for? Nope! That's my grades for the mid years! Cool eh... I'm kind of proud of it bah. Yeah, "proud". Start from the better one? D for GP, E for Math, U for Chemistry and Econs, S for physics and chinese. Wait! Chinese! What!!! Yeah... I can't believe it either. anyway, S is a fail... U, do i need to say?

To summarise, 1 of 3 H2 passes, H1 physics fail! One of two languages pass.
Dissapointing enough, but move on. I can't believe it, in sec 4, i experiencce this too, my studies were in tatters. Now i must tie up the loose ends. It takes a lot of effort but i gotta do it. Be determined and disciplined jules! Or risk being one of the tens or more,that's gonna be invited out of the college. Crap...

Went shopping with mummy the other day! I realise i slim down a lot! I can wear FCUK's bottoms, size 32! Whew... True enough, my weight is 80 now? Scary... That's a little too drastic isn't it?

School life is really going to be interesting, it's either i put up a good fight, or just be swept away from the crowd. PW gonna be intense soon... Bowling for A!!! Lol... Go go go!

School's re opening...

2008-07-06T22:47:00.002+08:00

Hmm, it's been quite sometime since i last blogged? Haha... Yes yes... Indeed! Hmm, i have a lot of things to blog about actually. But kind of forget what i wanted to. Quite lazy in a way. Mid year's over now. I seriously screwed it up. Now, i think my mum got to go down to school one of these days... Haix...

Just came back from a chalet. I don't know how to spell, correct me? Hmm, Kind of fun, but only stay for one night. Hmm, i think the person next door complained about the noise? Haha... Lot's of tau poks available for cooking eh?

Mum, is quite against the idea of me staying over. But she mentioned it's not as though you're goung to the "Puncak", a mountain in indonesia, near to jakarta, and are opened up for resorts... Come to think about it, pasir ris would be the furthest you can go in singapore, well at least for my case... Hmm, staying over is quite a fun, yeah, good for bonding?

School's opening again next week. Well, at least i have a youth day... Facial tmr... Time to change my habit, and maybe food habit, hmm, and laziness. Face is important...!

I wonder what will school be like next term? Time to get serious... Pw is getting quite stressful sometime, hmm, cause you only got a chance, if you screw it up, good game! We're getting stucked here and there... Haha... Need more guidiance i think.

The past two days... Slack slack...

2008-06-21T13:39:00.003+08:00

Hey!!! Who says you can play that much hur! Lol... Okay... The day before yesterday, hmm...

Okay, woke up in the morning, then i remembered need to pq's house... Lol... Went CCK from bt batok! Haha! Huihan, you owe me some money!!! Lol... I wonder, since when loan sharks, no i think i'm loan guppy -..-''' Borrowing service also include bringing to him? Haha... Funny...

Went of to find Yuhui at CCK, she wanted to book piano practice stuff bah... Lol. Then went to BPP. Took 190. Short ride :( gotta go off. Pq, Siew, and clari is waiting at Cafe Cartel. And she went to eat her lunch at MOS. Ebi burger again! hahaha... After eating, did some groceries shopping... Food food... haha...

Gosh, can't believe it, i have to tell mum i went out to study. Haix...

Yesterday's Ger's Bday!!! Haha... Planned a surprise, that did not turn out to be the exact surprise... Lol!!! Initially she was sad bah, but end the day a happy girl! Hahaha...

But, yeap, got a series of nagging, and i swear, it's shit... :( Don't wanna mention abt it. Just silently swallow it bah. Haha...

Hmm, time to grab photos!!! And mug mug...

I think the guys are studying at KAP, wanted to go cut hair and join them, but forget it. I'm sort of grounded now. Better not, it's like threading on soft ice. can't go for today's training. Though i really feel like going...

True enough, all the regrets start to float up :(

2008-06-19T22:10:00.003+08:00

Hmm, yesterday marks an end for this year's youth cup season for us. We could have carried more hope to win the game, and advance. We were caught in their trance, and allowed them to control the game. By the third quarter, we should have realise it can be the last game in the under 18 category for the dades.

This year, Kaixuan u 18 youth team consist of 7 year 90 players and 5 year 91 players. The team went through ups and down together. And to be able to play along side them was great. The spirit we had, the emotions, and the experience... I can only descibe them as valuable and rare. The final second wind down... Beep...

All i remembered was silence... The image of the shots, struggle, triumph, and frustrations all crammed to my mind. I realise, all that may be the only and last chance to have it and see it. It will be embedded in my memories... Can more of them be seen?

Then all the stuff that dade said, trainings, my performance... If only i put even more effort. Would i be better prepared? Would i be better? Would i contribute more to the team?

I wanted to walk up to all the dades, and i wanted to say a "thank you" to them. But i don't have the courage to, or the sureness after what happenned earlier on... Haix... So i guess, i'll express it here bah...

Thank you dades for your guidiance. For the valuable lessons, and experience together. Though we may only be a year difference in age, but i do hold all of you in respect and look upon all of you as an example. Thank you for the faith you have in me, the encouragements. I still have a long way to go...

Season's over, exams first, and at last, rest to recuperate! Well, i'm getting quite panicky now... The exams are quite near. No! Very near! Haha...

Oh my, wonder when can i get my HTC diamond! Rarr... Enough for today! Ciaoz...

Some current affairs

2008-06-16T22:55:00.003+08:00

Actually, i wanted to post this about 2 days ago, and in this post i'm talking about a topic on some environmental issue. Time is running out. Yeah... Cherish time!

Let's get started. Have you guys noticed about this advertisement by SMRT that says "it's cleaner by bus" ? Think again. Do you think it's actually true?

Have you ever stand on a bus stop or bus interchange? Is your respiratory passage clear? Or it do get choked up? What causes the chokings and all the smell? Carbon dioxide? Or carbon monoxide? Those buses run on diesel. I don't really know what do they emit. But i do see black coloured gas coming out of their exhaust pipe. Are those pollutives?

Talking about it, Singapore is promoting use of CNG, or hybrid technology. My motive today is actually to suggest that public buses in Singapore be converted to CNG. This practice is already seen in neighbouring countries. The closest one, Indonesia, particularly in Jakarta. Although i will not dare to say that Indonesia is green, but i guess, it's really a constructive idea.

They call CNG "BBG ( Bahan Bakar Gas ) " This was adopted following the introduction of "Bus Ways" in the city of Jakarta. Where a lane was set aside and separated for designated public buses usage only. If Singapore can use this idea, i believe that it can contribute to the conservation effort in Singapore. And come to think about it, it'll be more healthier for commuters like me or even you...

It's a story, and i hope it don't happen...

2008-06-16T22:47:00.003+08:00

Just one last dance....oh baby...just one last dance

We meet in the night in the Spanish cafe
I look in your eyes just don't know what to say
It feels like I'm drowning in salty water
A few hours left 'til the sun's gonna rise
Tomorrow will come, and it's time to realize
Our love has finished forever

How I wish to come with you (wish to come with you)
How I wish we make it through

Just one last dance
Before we say goodbye
When we sway and turn round and round and round
It's like the first time
Just one more chance
Hold me tight and keep me warm
Cause the night is getting cold
And I don't know where I belong
Just one last dance

The wine and the lights and the Spanish guitar
I'll never forget how romantic they are
But I know, tomorrow I'll lose the one I love

There's no way to come with you
It's the only way to do

An array of mess again...

2008-06-16T22:16:00.002+08:00

Let's blog before my mind get too flocked up.

First, match against qian xi. Well, got a chance to be the starter. I was a little shocked, but it's cause of some dades who came late bah. Don't blame them though... I think i played bad. No hard fought rebounds, even the easy ones were let off. Sink nil, though i got some chances. Tsk tsk... It's still a long way to go for me, to be really, meeting expectation. Haix... We won though.

Sick. I'm sick again. Coughing. Been feverish a little. Get well soon Julius! Yeah...

HTC diamond's officially out! Should i get it, well, lost the mood to bah... Maybe... Show you guys the pictures soon...

Hey exam's next week only! Whew! I'm dead meat! Hahahaha... Let's see if i'm first to get out of that place. Kidding... Study study... But my mind may drift away, let's see if i can start to concentrate. I hope so. It's really one week away.

Is it time to change another personality. Maybe it's time to have some discipline. Set up some rules to lay my life straight... I'll be blogging some more posts today! It'll be better than drifting in my thoughts...

We may be small, but we play big!

2008-06-14T00:44:00.004+08:00

I woke up unwillingliy today. Again! Haha... Honestly, i am really not feeling well. I feel i'm catching cold! True enough, i got feverish in the afternoon.

I went to Beauty World this morening, for an interview with YinXin's coach, Uncle Richard. He shocked me a little, cause he says he's intellectual. And he really is. Somehow, he have that airiness in him. Spent 1 hour plus in his shop, and he really interest me a lot. I learnt more about Bowling! But he said that our proposal is unfeasible... Zzz... That's disheartening, but it really make sense. We are infringing a little of business etiquette. Hmm, shan't talk much about that. It's boring.

Suppose to meet the clique, PQ, Chris and peeps! Man, i miss them lots. The fever is really making me go lala, i was a little bit shaky here and there. And my head is really heavy. Got a panadol from shop and save, had lunch and went home. Hehe... I'm with someone of course. Sorry lovelys!!! I'll make it up to you guys...

Went home to sleep!!! ZZzz... Had a good rest, i was fresh again. Afterall, total number of panadol cold eaten today : 3 caplets... Had spaghetti for dinner! Mummy made it,and it's nice :) Showered and got on my way!

Darn... How can i forget to bring ball!!! Sorry team! haha... No more of such nonsense! :P I went there with a mentality to win! Hmm, even though the name of the opponent rung as though they're like some invincible, but why be afraid. Ball is round :) Poor face, took yet another beating! zzz... Not from a ball, but from an elbow. Zzzz... Why must it always be me! Lucky, this time is on the right! But the blow hit my jaw bone! It hurts!!!

The first and second quarter was very close! I really thought we can win. But i can see, we are really pushing ourselves. Dades! You all really made a name for yourselves out there today! We lose in terms of size, maybe speed, and number of experienced players. But our voice is a sure victory today! Morale was all high! Thank you to the people who came down to watch the match, and thank you officials! You guys sure value add to our performance...

Red sports has an article about us! I remembered someone tried to show off his friends' team to me there, but, now, we made it to that collumn. We are not lousy... We do bite! Hmm, talking about it "a pity their bench is weak"... It's true in a way, but not fully true in another! We can still do something, work hard mates! 91s, we have a benchmark to reach next time! Hahaha...

Though we lost, i felt a tingling sensation of victory, cause we played a good game, can i say a beautiful game? 2 games to go! Hmm, win win mentality! Go go go! Kai Xuan "yo!"

Hmm, a sting! Is it pain?

2008-06-12T00:53:00.002+08:00

Hornets!!! Sounds scary! Honestly, they aren't very scary either. Don't sting much actually!

Hmm, if we could harvest all the oppurtunity we have, that will be great! I guess, we will go YO!!!

The game almost look as though it's over, not!!! Game over? Tsk tsk... Who say so? Turn overs? I saw a couple, and we're on our way again... Hmm, but in the end we still slipped it.

I think i need to learn how to catch a ball. It's not phobia of the ball isn't it?

Didn't play much either, i think i'm not well, groomed yet. Still far from the veteran level!

Went to interview a bowling coach, Catherine Kang! She's nice, i mean, really nice! So is SP!!! Better than the low end PJ! Zzzzz... Oops, any pioneers looking at this? Say I if you do think so :P
Well, i think bowling is a sport that's quite cool! Think, i'm beginning to like it! Haha...

Fishy's sick! I hope she get well soon! It's a special day today! Yay... Mood's quite good... But a bit hungry! Hahaha... Hmm, if Kai Xuan want's it, we can get it... Maybe we should be more positive at times. Keep the morale high bros! Gogogo!!!

What happens next? I'm being toyed by fate?

2008-06-08T00:07:00.002+08:00

I bought a new bag today... A quicksilver backpack. It cost me 70. Actually, i'm willing to pour in 155 for a nike bag frm limited ed. Guess i came too late. It's gone, sold out. It's really nice.

Shopping was brief, went with wei quan. Well, had talks and quite fun. Gayed for a day! Lol... kidding.

Sometimes, stuff seem to be so in control, and it can tear apart so suddenly. Yesterday, my face is hit by a ball. Today! AGAIN! What the... Don't tell me even b ball don't want me to play it anymore? Or, it's signalling something else.

Sorry team! I let my emotions ran my play today! If your're hurt by my elbow, i really owe you one. I'm really sorry. I guess, i got to say now. Actually, my parents are against the idea of me playing basketball. ya... And i'm defying some orders. It's not getting better either. It's quite disheartening sometime. When you see someone, who got injured on court, but his parents were quite supportive. Came down to see the match, even volunteered to clean the mess. I'm just jealous... Really... When i heard of that, i'm just... To play well, i must not allow personal emotions get in the way... I promise, there won't be such happening again! Oops, i still owe dade pumpings. It's for some !@#$ that i blurted out.

People around you can really influence a happening and set a series of chain reactions. Words, i have come to realise how powerful they are! Distorting facts? Twisting tongues... I'm becoming aggressive. I got to calm down a little. I am nasty if i explode!

i've grown so dependent on you!

I guess, i don't want to change it.

Cause i really really want to cherish you...

My dazzling jewel...

2008-06-04T23:50:00.000+08:00

Hmm, i went to school today! No class, no balls... Haha... Well, actually went back for self studying! Yup! I was really really very happy today! Hmm, beyond words that i almost teared!

Who else can make me this happy... hahaha... Yes... The kaleidoscope & colourful pencil "from Japan"! Lol... Hmm... I'm really lost of words now. I'm just i lucky guy i guess. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.........

Here's what i applied my creativity on while playing ;)

This third piece reflects the jewel of my heart

Yay... I got no training tmr! but, got class... hahaha... well, i think i miss her a lot!